God's love is so beautiful!! This morning Keith got up and started his bible study like he always does...gets up, listens to worship music, takes time in prayer, and reads the word. Well this morning, part way through...Keith felt the Lord prompting him to "Go set up for North First St." Now??? thought Keith...At 8:00 in the morning? The answer was a very clear "Yes" so off Keith went pulling the trailer behind him...headed for North First St. Keith grabbed a few boxes of Don's Donuts to take down with him not knowing exactly who he would run into. It is amazing the adventure that God takes you on when you are listening to the Holy Spirit. Shortly into the drive Keith spotted "Ron", a man who appeared homeless...he had on his backpack and was carrying his sleeping bag as he walked down the road. Keith pulled the car over and motioned for him to come over to the car. The man walked over and gladly accepted the donuts as well as the invitation to come down at 2:00 for food and clothes. Ben was the next guy that Keith came across along his journey. Ben was leaning up against a building....just standing there....He was also so blessed to have something to eat. He gladly accepted the donuts and water for him and his wife. "God bless you!" called out the man as Keith drove away.
When Keith pulled into the Mission parking lot, a small group of men walked over and offered to help set up tables, cones, and rope to tie off the area. Afterwards Keith offered them donuts and access to any clothes they might need. They were so happy to be able to help and it wasn't until they were all finished that Keith brought out some of the clothes as well as stamped envelopes and stationary that were donated last week "It is so you can write somebody back home if you want." A few of the men were very happy to have that. "There are pens too!" shouted one of the guys..... pens too....We take a lot for granted! Another of the men who helped set up said, "It helps take away some of the anxiety when you set the tables up early because then we know that you really are coming." This gives a little peek into the minds of some of the people who suffer from mental illness. We have come down every Sunday except for one week over the last 18 months and there is still anxiety over whether we will really make it down there or not. :0( Very sad to me because many people have been so let down by those people closest to them that they have a really hard time trusting anyone....even after 18 months. When Keith was finished setting up, he told the men that he would see them at 2:00 and then off he drove headed for the shop to sort and load clothes for the day. The sun was coming through the windshield and Keith could not stop praising God for how He beautifully orchestrated the morning. God is so so good!
Act 1:8
"But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth." There were so many people who were witnesses of God's amazing beauty and provision today. We had wonderful volunteers who brought incredible food and love. Good thing too because there were so so many people today. When we drove up there was already a huge line. Someone told Keith that they had started lining up at 1:15. It is extremely humbling to serve Christ in this manner.
In Luke 2:49 Jesus was questioned by his parents as to his where abouts. Jesus replied, "Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father's business?" Today was a great day to be "about Yakima" doing our Father's business. It was so fun sharing the Good News of the Lord! It doesn't happen in a "normal" clean way where there is an attentive audience listening intently to your words...no it looks much different....Like I run around like a chicken with my head cut off....scrambling from picking up trash to grabbing things that need to be hauled out of the truck...hugging Carolina after seeing his handsome cleanly shaven face and shampooed hair. Never in 18 months have I seen him shaven and clean. "I served in the mission kitchen today and helped Keith set up this morning," he beamed! I have no idea what motivated Carolina to take those awesome steps... but something is happening in him!.....back to the food line....grabbing a plate of food for an older man who has a hard time walking ....bending down to open up the pack of water...which leads me closer to the clothes area so I wind up grabbing pants, socks, and boxers for a man...which leads me over to Glenn who is waiting patiently- resting against the back of the car. We talk a bit and he tells me his health troubles, his random drug use for pain, and his difficulty setting boundries with people who use him. Mid sentence I stop him and ask, "Do you know if you are going to heaven?" I have hung out with Glenn for 18 months now and so I felt like the question was long overdue. After rephrasing the question a half a dozen times, I felt confident that he really did know Jesus...Glen's mental instability handicaps him as much as any physical handicap. Life is very confusing to him and very difficult to move through successfully. ....back to check on everyone serving in the food line to make sure they don't need anything and I run into Marey......Marey who was a meth addict 3 months ago (went through re-hab and was baptized a couple weeks ago) was serving food in the line----food that she prepared for North First Street.....I hugged her and told her how beautiful it was to see her serving in line and how much her food was blessing those in need......back over to the front of the food line to try and figure how to bag up food for the river people to take with them.....It was great to share with our volunteers how their hard work preparing the food would bless the people who lived by the river for the next two or three days. And trust me....the people by the river appreciate it so very much! They do not have anything in their interactions with us that shows anything except true whole hearted appreciation that we think of them. One man said, "Don't the people who prepared the food want to take the left overs home? Don't they have families to feed?" I was floored... he said it with all sincerity and finally accepted that we wanted to give it to him since he always shared it with his friends that live by him. Another man told Tracy, "I'm a Vietnam Vet. and nobody wants to help us except you guys." It isn't us... it is God's love that they are experiencing...it is overwhelming...totally joyful.....and the most beautiful thing to experience!!!
I headed to the truck once again to grab a bag of food that I had made up from home for a few of our homeless friends who always help us set up and serve. They are so faithful every week to us that I wanted to give them a special thank you. And nothing says thank you like some bread, eggs, milk, and pasta :0) As I was headed over I saw one of our old friends who told us that he has been in an out of jail a lot the last month. He was discouraged and afraid that he might be headed to prison because of avoiding parole. I can't change his learning system or help the learning curve to improve any faster regarding life and consequences but I could offer prayer, a hug, and a compassionate ear. I asked Chris if I could pray for him and he said, "Yes!" After we prayed Chris thanked me and walked away. I am so glad that he knows that he is always welcome and loved...even as he makes mistakes along the way.
Two older women walked up at the very end and asked if we had any food left. I had groceries in the back of the pick up that I had picked up right before I came down. I knew that I had grabbed groceries for 7 people who were living in a motel room that I was supposed to deliver to after we were finished. God knew that these two ladies would need food. The longer we talked...the more we could see the wall of guardedness melt....The Lord provided them with food....paper towels...and hope!! Watching the ladies interaction...you could see that the younger lady took care of the older one (but both were well into their 60's and maybe early 70's for the older lady). "I am so glad that you have each other out here," I said. "We need to because we only have each other." I explained that we were there every Sunday at 2:00. "Thank you," smiled the younger lady, "and God Bless You." The ladies continued on over to the curb where they settled down and began to dive into the food that God provided!
With our cars packed up...Keith and I headed out to one more stop. The lady from last week who I thought had died because I hadn't seen her for so long called me today right before we headed out to North First St. She and 6 other people were sharing a motel room.... all gathered together trying to survive...survive not only physically, but spiritually. It's a room full of people with very hurt hearts. We pulled up to their place and every one of them came out to meet us. They thanked us repeatedly ...and you could feel the despair....the lady who called asked if Keith and I could give them words of hope...wisdom....and encouragement. What we gave them was some of God's promises. His promises hold the wisdom, the hope, and the encouragement.
Another week finished...and another week overflowing with God's abundant joy. Not the kind of joy that you feel when you get a Christmas gift...but the kind of joy that settles deep in the center of your being... a joy that is fulfilling and peaceful. A joy that keeps us dis-satisfied with the thought of not going down each week...the kind that keeps us hungry for more... more of God's love flowing through us to His people. I want to be "about doing My Father's business" for as long as God allows me to. Thank You Jesus for Your unfailing Love!!! In Jesus Holy Name- Amen! :0)
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Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
God Wants To Do Miracles....
2 Kings 4 tells about the poor widow who had nothing. The poor woman called out to Elisha as he was going through her town...Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the Lord. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves." Elisha instructed her to go to her neighbors and to ask for empty pots for oil...not a few.... but many! The poor woman did as she was instructed and she poured oil from her container into the pots.... the oil filled every last pot. The woman was instructed to sell the oil to pay her debts and then keep the rest that was left over for her and her sons to live off of. How beautiful to see the faith of a poor woman...God remembered her faithfulness and met her needs. She knew to fall at God's feet (or someone who was a prophet of God) in her time of need.
In 2 Kings 4:8 the scripture continues to tell us about a different woman. This story is entitled, "The Shunammite's Son Restored To Life". The main character in this scripture is the opposite of the poor woman from the previous scripture. The woman in this scripture is a well to do woman who on the outside appears to have everything that she needs. She has plenty of food and many jars of oil. It would appear as if all her needs were met...Yet she had a deep need that money couldn't take care of...she was barren... and she had lost faith that God remembered the desire of her heart. Her hope was very low...It took Elisha to speak "hope" into her life...to let her dare to "believe" that God may have a different plan for her future than the one that she had played out in her head....the one that did not include a child. The woman finally opened her mind to the possibility of God hearing her cry....thanks to Elisha's insistence. The following year the woman had a baby. The boy continued to grow until one day he grew ill...and appeared to have died...the woman could not accept the news and immediately went straight to the prophet who was her link to God. Elisha stretched out over the dead boy's body....face to face...hand to hand....until the boy finally came back to life.
There are so many miracles that God wants to do in our lives. Whether rich or poor... we all have things to overcome as God tries to pull us towards our future. God has greater things for us than we can imagine! He knows the desires that live within the confines of each of our hearts. Sometimes it is easy to think that we are fine....that we don't need anything. We are comfortable in our lives with enough food and shelter....it is easier to think that those "street people" obviously need the miracles...they need "help". And yes... they do indeed need the help. But too often it doesn't matter if you are poor or wealthy....we have dreams in our heart that are to scary to really dream upon...Sometimes people have been so let down, so discouraged by words of condemnation...that they dare not think too long about the flickers of hopes...and dreams...that live within. The truth is that God wants to give us something great!! Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Today on North First I was able to witness a few of these answered prayers.... prayers that started as desires deep in the hearts of their owners. Dreams of a life different than the one that each person was living.... dreams of being the person that lived inside....not the one that lived in the circumstances of life. Marey was abused throughout her life and found it easier to do meth...than to feel the self hatred that she felt. It was easier to numb herself than to face the names that her loved ones called her. It was easier to leave her dreams boxed up inside until one day God's voice became louder than the outside voices. God started whispering who she really was in Christ....Just nudges at first...enough to give her the strength to go into rehab. She made it through rehab and has recently reached her 60th day clean!!! She was baptized 2 weeks ago and has rededicated her life to the Lord! Today she came to North 1st to help serve in line instead of take...it was while she was in line serving that someone tried to pull her back away from her dreams and put her in a prison cell made up of her past. We were serving hotdogs and he made a very crude and degrading comment to her that was uncalled for. I called him on it in a joking way to let him know that I knew exactly what he was talking about. He turned sheepishly and continued down the line....leaving Marey deflated. I quickly whispered in her ear that our identity is not defined by our past mistakes... our identity is defined by our God and Creator who loves us, forgives us, and who made us. We are precious to Him! I told her to never let people take away the dreams... the dream of being precious...of being "good enough"... of being loved and never used. God is the author of our dreams and He wants good for our lives.... whether rich or poor.
I heard an awesome saying..."God is greater than the circumstances of our past". Yes indeed!!! Another new friend has lived a hard life. She is in her 20's...her mother is in prison...and she has lost custody of her children...she lived on the river for a time and is getting her life together. The Lord has stirred a desire in her heart...a desire to be more than homeless...a desire to be more than a continued cycle of poverty and crime....a desire to be a "chef". Through a variety of steps...she is enrolled in The Art Institute of Seattle and is working with the counselors there to get financial aid set up as well as housing. God has thrown the doors to her future wide open!!! He heard the cries of her heart and has helped her to work through the steps necessary to achieve her dreams!!! "You are not defined by your past, but by how God sees you!" We serve an amazing God! Our God sees through the surface of your life....He sees under the layers of bad choices, betrayal, and pain....he sees the desires that lay deep in your heart! My new friend came down today and helped serve food...as a matter of fact...she brought a big pan of food to serve. God is so amazing!!
Jesus wants to cover us...cover our old identities and make us new. Today was Carolina's (our friend on North 1st St.) birthday! He joined our circle of prayer when we were finished serving people. It was beautiful. He told us that it was his birthday and that it has been 3 years that he's been off heroine! Carolina was nearly ran over by a train 3 years ago where he had passed out from too much heroine. Carolina went through rehab and was able to kick heroine. He drinks every day and still lives on the streets, but he sings a song of Jesus everywhere he goes. Carolina will tell you with the most genuine of hearts...how amazing Jesus is! Carolina still lives on the streets....and has substituted alcohol for heroine...but Carolina knows Jesus to the depths of his core. I can't answer the "why" of "Why is he still on the streets...or why does he still drink?" I don't need to know the answers...I just need to know the Jesus that lives in Carolina's heart and I need to let Him into the places in my heart where my dreams live...."
When we first got down to North First today and were setting up...I heard some of the men talking in line about being at the bottom of the bucket and how about how you can only go up from here. Being the "ear jacker" that I am....I piped up and said, "That is right! When I was at the bottom of the bucket...at the end of my rope...I thought...well, it can only get better from here....it sure can't get worse." One of the men chuckled and said..."ya. but what happens when you start to get used to it there." The Lord does not want us to be content at the bottom of the bucket. He does not want us to be wallowing around in the mud of life....God wants us to dare to dream...he does not want us to be like the "well to do" woman in 2 Kings....He does not want us to say.."We are just fine... we don't need anything." God wants us to share every aspect of our heart with Him. He wants us to dare to share the desires of our heart...the dreams that may lay dormant. He wants us to invite Him in and to bare our deepest dreams to Him.
Life does not always end up like a fairy tale with everything...happily ever after. People get sick, some die, people divorce, jobs are lost, children go astray...But God promises us in Phillipeans 4:13 that "In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I would much rather dare to dream....dare to share my heart with the God of the Universe than to sit in my pit of yuck because I am too afraid to be disappointed. I don't want to "get used to" being at the bottom of the bucket. No...I want to turn my eyes up and to keep them fixed on my God... My Lord and Savior...who loves me....the real me that He created...never to be defined by the mistakes of my past. Thank You Jesus! I pray that my life continually points to You and that Your Glory radiates!!! In Jesus Holy Name... Amen :0)
In 2 Kings 4:8 the scripture continues to tell us about a different woman. This story is entitled, "The Shunammite's Son Restored To Life". The main character in this scripture is the opposite of the poor woman from the previous scripture. The woman in this scripture is a well to do woman who on the outside appears to have everything that she needs. She has plenty of food and many jars of oil. It would appear as if all her needs were met...Yet she had a deep need that money couldn't take care of...she was barren... and she had lost faith that God remembered the desire of her heart. Her hope was very low...It took Elisha to speak "hope" into her life...to let her dare to "believe" that God may have a different plan for her future than the one that she had played out in her head....the one that did not include a child. The woman finally opened her mind to the possibility of God hearing her cry....thanks to Elisha's insistence. The following year the woman had a baby. The boy continued to grow until one day he grew ill...and appeared to have died...the woman could not accept the news and immediately went straight to the prophet who was her link to God. Elisha stretched out over the dead boy's body....face to face...hand to hand....until the boy finally came back to life.
There are so many miracles that God wants to do in our lives. Whether rich or poor... we all have things to overcome as God tries to pull us towards our future. God has greater things for us than we can imagine! He knows the desires that live within the confines of each of our hearts. Sometimes it is easy to think that we are fine....that we don't need anything. We are comfortable in our lives with enough food and shelter....it is easier to think that those "street people" obviously need the miracles...they need "help". And yes... they do indeed need the help. But too often it doesn't matter if you are poor or wealthy....we have dreams in our heart that are to scary to really dream upon...Sometimes people have been so let down, so discouraged by words of condemnation...that they dare not think too long about the flickers of hopes...and dreams...that live within. The truth is that God wants to give us something great!! Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Today on North First I was able to witness a few of these answered prayers.... prayers that started as desires deep in the hearts of their owners. Dreams of a life different than the one that each person was living.... dreams of being the person that lived inside....not the one that lived in the circumstances of life. Marey was abused throughout her life and found it easier to do meth...than to feel the self hatred that she felt. It was easier to numb herself than to face the names that her loved ones called her. It was easier to leave her dreams boxed up inside until one day God's voice became louder than the outside voices. God started whispering who she really was in Christ....Just nudges at first...enough to give her the strength to go into rehab. She made it through rehab and has recently reached her 60th day clean!!! She was baptized 2 weeks ago and has rededicated her life to the Lord! Today she came to North 1st to help serve in line instead of take...it was while she was in line serving that someone tried to pull her back away from her dreams and put her in a prison cell made up of her past. We were serving hotdogs and he made a very crude and degrading comment to her that was uncalled for. I called him on it in a joking way to let him know that I knew exactly what he was talking about. He turned sheepishly and continued down the line....leaving Marey deflated. I quickly whispered in her ear that our identity is not defined by our past mistakes... our identity is defined by our God and Creator who loves us, forgives us, and who made us. We are precious to Him! I told her to never let people take away the dreams... the dream of being precious...of being "good enough"... of being loved and never used. God is the author of our dreams and He wants good for our lives.... whether rich or poor.
I heard an awesome saying..."God is greater than the circumstances of our past". Yes indeed!!! Another new friend has lived a hard life. She is in her 20's...her mother is in prison...and she has lost custody of her children...she lived on the river for a time and is getting her life together. The Lord has stirred a desire in her heart...a desire to be more than homeless...a desire to be more than a continued cycle of poverty and crime....a desire to be a "chef". Through a variety of steps...she is enrolled in The Art Institute of Seattle and is working with the counselors there to get financial aid set up as well as housing. God has thrown the doors to her future wide open!!! He heard the cries of her heart and has helped her to work through the steps necessary to achieve her dreams!!! "You are not defined by your past, but by how God sees you!" We serve an amazing God! Our God sees through the surface of your life....He sees under the layers of bad choices, betrayal, and pain....he sees the desires that lay deep in your heart! My new friend came down today and helped serve food...as a matter of fact...she brought a big pan of food to serve. God is so amazing!!
Jesus wants to cover us...cover our old identities and make us new. Today was Carolina's (our friend on North 1st St.) birthday! He joined our circle of prayer when we were finished serving people. It was beautiful. He told us that it was his birthday and that it has been 3 years that he's been off heroine! Carolina was nearly ran over by a train 3 years ago where he had passed out from too much heroine. Carolina went through rehab and was able to kick heroine. He drinks every day and still lives on the streets, but he sings a song of Jesus everywhere he goes. Carolina will tell you with the most genuine of hearts...how amazing Jesus is! Carolina still lives on the streets....and has substituted alcohol for heroine...but Carolina knows Jesus to the depths of his core. I can't answer the "why" of "Why is he still on the streets...or why does he still drink?" I don't need to know the answers...I just need to know the Jesus that lives in Carolina's heart and I need to let Him into the places in my heart where my dreams live...."
When we first got down to North First today and were setting up...I heard some of the men talking in line about being at the bottom of the bucket and how about how you can only go up from here. Being the "ear jacker" that I am....I piped up and said, "That is right! When I was at the bottom of the bucket...at the end of my rope...I thought...well, it can only get better from here....it sure can't get worse." One of the men chuckled and said..."ya. but what happens when you start to get used to it there." The Lord does not want us to be content at the bottom of the bucket. He does not want us to be wallowing around in the mud of life....God wants us to dare to dream...he does not want us to be like the "well to do" woman in 2 Kings....He does not want us to say.."We are just fine... we don't need anything." God wants us to share every aspect of our heart with Him. He wants us to dare to share the desires of our heart...the dreams that may lay dormant. He wants us to invite Him in and to bare our deepest dreams to Him.
Life does not always end up like a fairy tale with everything...happily ever after. People get sick, some die, people divorce, jobs are lost, children go astray...But God promises us in Phillipeans 4:13 that "In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I would much rather dare to dream....dare to share my heart with the God of the Universe than to sit in my pit of yuck because I am too afraid to be disappointed. I don't want to "get used to" being at the bottom of the bucket. No...I want to turn my eyes up and to keep them fixed on my God... My Lord and Savior...who loves me....the real me that He created...never to be defined by the mistakes of my past. Thank You Jesus! I pray that my life continually points to You and that Your Glory radiates!!! In Jesus Holy Name... Amen :0)
Monday, March 11, 2013
Light Cuts Through The Darkness!
1 John 2:7 seemed to fit this last week so well....... "Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment- to love one another- is the same message you heard before. Yet it is also new. Jesus lived the truth of this commandment, and you also are living it. For the darkness is disappearing, and the true light is already shining."
I do believe that this is happening on North First Street. The darkness seems to be disappearing little by little. Every bit... is a step closer than it was. The week there seemed to be a lot of joy in the air. Almost all of the people we spoke with seemed happy to see us and we for sure were happy to see them. "How was your week?" many of them would ask us. We seemed to have a lot of new servers mixed with our dedicated regulars. It was so fun to see our volunteers embrace our North First St. friends with the love of Jesus! It was interesting because one volunteer asked one of our faithful regulars...."Where do they get to hear the word of God? Is the gospel preached?" I love love loved how she responded, "They don't hear the word of God...they see it being lived out." Absolutely beautifully said!!! It is so true that they see it every week. This is not boastful in anyway about what "we" are doing...no...it is wonderful amazement at what God is showing ALL of us (as I used to say in the beginning...it is amazing people on both sides of the box.) I stand in utter "awe" of God! The true light is shining!!
One of our North First St. friends that lives down by the river asked if he could bring some food back to two of his buddies that couldn't make it. In the previous weeks it was the buddy who was bringing food back to the other guys who were sick....they really do try and take care of each other. Light is shining bright!!
One of our river friends was sad today because his girlfriend had left him...it was hard to see him broken, but I was glad that he shared with me and that God gave me words of encouragement. I couldn't fix anything, but I was glad that he found be at the beginning of the day and shared. I packed him up the things he needed and he was off to try and make sense of the pain that relationships bring.
I hope that the relationships that he is making with us...help to convey the love of Jesus...a love that can not be found in the world.
One of our faithful volunteers shared a beautiful story with me about this weekend....a 20 year young man came to the valley with the carnival but was left behind. He decided to go back to school to get his G.E.D. so he enrolled in a local alternative degree program. This young man currently lives and works at the mission while attending school. On Sunday morning, he went to church with one of our volunteers. This young man is seeking a future....he is seeking an earthly future as well as an eternal future!! I am so thankful for our faithful volunteer for letting Jesus work through her to help change eternity for another person. God asks us to be available, but it is He who directs the path and saves souls!!!
"God bless you.." they are now calling out to us as they leave...smiles on their faces and a rambunctious wave..."see you next week!" The dark is disappearing....the light is getting brighter!
It only takes a Sunday visit to know that there is plenty of darkness. I met a woman today whom I had never met before...and for a good reason...she had only been in Yakima 2 days. This woman's story touched my daughter Olivia and I very much. We approached her as she sat on the side steps of the mission. We asked her how her day was and she replied, "Not so great." Olivia and I sat down on the curb and listened to the story that left feeling sad and a little sick. The woman was from southern California and had arrived in Yakima two days prior. Her boyfriend of a year had brought her with him on his long haul truck route. Unfortunately the man was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to her. Olivia and I listened to this beautiful 52 year old woman tell us how he would not let her talk to anyone at rest stops and how she had to turn her head the other way when they would pass other trucks so that she would not have eye contact with other truck drivers. He routinely called her horrible names and through time.... distanced any contact with her family or friends. He insisted on getting rid of her phone because they only needed his....which she could only use with permission. She rarely had cash and despite her beautiful smile...she was so beaten inside.
A few nights prior to the day I met her, the woman chose not to have relations with him...the man became very angry and he poured his urine all over her face...getting it in her eyes, mouth, and all over her pajamas. The woman changed her clothes and went back to sleep. She woke up with 2 police officers over her. The woman's boyfriend had broken the mirrors on the truck and then called the police. He claimed that she vandalized his truck. Because of legal issues regarding the trucking company and its "rider" policy, the police ended up taking the woman to the mission. She has never been to Yakima and does not know anyone here. The woman called back to family in southern California and is currently waiting for them to wire money to her so that she can get back home.
The woman was so broken....Olivia and I listened with sadness. The woman's first husband was abusive also. He broke both of her wrists, her ribs, and would beat up her face badly. She divorced him, however she fell back into another abusive relationship. This is darkness....but Jesus' light is brighter than we could ever imagine! My first marriage was abusive. After getting a divorce... it took a lot of prayer and work trying to figure out what a "healthy" relationship looks like and what the characteristics are of an abusive relationship. It took learning and embracing my true identity in Christ to break the mind set of an abused person. I understood why she stayed and tried to make it work as well as the fear that kept her from trying to leave. It is hard to explain to someone who has not experienced it. You want so badly to be just loved for you and you think that if you just try a little harder and do things a little better, that the abuse will stop. You even start believing that you probably deserved what you got. The Lord spoke truth to this woman through my words. I explained that she needed to trust that God would get her back home but that she needed to start working on getting herself healthy mentally. We talked about the mindset and how when we understand our true identity in Christ...we replace those old thoughts that hold us captive. We talked about how you really have to address the things of the past to understand how you could ever get to the point of thinking that it was acceptable to be treated that way. "Your mother did not hold you in her arms when you were born and say ' I hope this child is abused,' " I said. We talked about breaking the cycle....her daughter is 24 and is also in a very unhealthy relationship. If the mama can break out of the cycle...it gives hope and a model for her daughter...and her granddaughter.
Light broke through the clouds as we stood with our hands on our new friend. We prayed for her and for God's mighty strength to cut through the darkness! As we we praying for our friend, Keith was standing with another volunteer and a man who lives at the mission- they were praying for a bike for him. The man works and lives at the mission but he comes over to help hand out clothes and food. So with heads bowed...they prayed for a bike that he can ride around since he does not have a car. But wait...there is more because while we were praying with the California woman and Keith and his group were praying with the man from the mission... Diane (wonderful volunteer!) was praying with a wonderfully colorful character who also lives on the street. Actually...he was the one leading the prayer...and what a prayer it was because his words blessed all those in the circle. Keith said it was so beautiful to look up and see three different groups of people (all unaware of the other) praying at the same time. God is so so wonderful and so so faithful!!! His light cuts through the darkness and allows wonderous light to flood through!! Thank You Jesus for shining Your amazing light down on us as well as our friends on North First Street! Your Love Truly is Amazing!
I do believe that this is happening on North First Street. The darkness seems to be disappearing little by little. Every bit... is a step closer than it was. The week there seemed to be a lot of joy in the air. Almost all of the people we spoke with seemed happy to see us and we for sure were happy to see them. "How was your week?" many of them would ask us. We seemed to have a lot of new servers mixed with our dedicated regulars. It was so fun to see our volunteers embrace our North First St. friends with the love of Jesus! It was interesting because one volunteer asked one of our faithful regulars...."Where do they get to hear the word of God? Is the gospel preached?" I love love loved how she responded, "They don't hear the word of God...they see it being lived out." Absolutely beautifully said!!! It is so true that they see it every week. This is not boastful in anyway about what "we" are doing...no...it is wonderful amazement at what God is showing ALL of us (as I used to say in the beginning...it is amazing people on both sides of the box.) I stand in utter "awe" of God! The true light is shining!!
One of our North First St. friends that lives down by the river asked if he could bring some food back to two of his buddies that couldn't make it. In the previous weeks it was the buddy who was bringing food back to the other guys who were sick....they really do try and take care of each other. Light is shining bright!!
One of our river friends was sad today because his girlfriend had left him...it was hard to see him broken, but I was glad that he shared with me and that God gave me words of encouragement. I couldn't fix anything, but I was glad that he found be at the beginning of the day and shared. I packed him up the things he needed and he was off to try and make sense of the pain that relationships bring.
I hope that the relationships that he is making with us...help to convey the love of Jesus...a love that can not be found in the world.
One of our faithful volunteers shared a beautiful story with me about this weekend....a 20 year young man came to the valley with the carnival but was left behind. He decided to go back to school to get his G.E.D. so he enrolled in a local alternative degree program. This young man currently lives and works at the mission while attending school. On Sunday morning, he went to church with one of our volunteers. This young man is seeking a future....he is seeking an earthly future as well as an eternal future!! I am so thankful for our faithful volunteer for letting Jesus work through her to help change eternity for another person. God asks us to be available, but it is He who directs the path and saves souls!!!
"God bless you.." they are now calling out to us as they leave...smiles on their faces and a rambunctious wave..."see you next week!" The dark is disappearing....the light is getting brighter!
It only takes a Sunday visit to know that there is plenty of darkness. I met a woman today whom I had never met before...and for a good reason...she had only been in Yakima 2 days. This woman's story touched my daughter Olivia and I very much. We approached her as she sat on the side steps of the mission. We asked her how her day was and she replied, "Not so great." Olivia and I sat down on the curb and listened to the story that left feeling sad and a little sick. The woman was from southern California and had arrived in Yakima two days prior. Her boyfriend of a year had brought her with him on his long haul truck route. Unfortunately the man was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to her. Olivia and I listened to this beautiful 52 year old woman tell us how he would not let her talk to anyone at rest stops and how she had to turn her head the other way when they would pass other trucks so that she would not have eye contact with other truck drivers. He routinely called her horrible names and through time.... distanced any contact with her family or friends. He insisted on getting rid of her phone because they only needed his....which she could only use with permission. She rarely had cash and despite her beautiful smile...she was so beaten inside.
A few nights prior to the day I met her, the woman chose not to have relations with him...the man became very angry and he poured his urine all over her face...getting it in her eyes, mouth, and all over her pajamas. The woman changed her clothes and went back to sleep. She woke up with 2 police officers over her. The woman's boyfriend had broken the mirrors on the truck and then called the police. He claimed that she vandalized his truck. Because of legal issues regarding the trucking company and its "rider" policy, the police ended up taking the woman to the mission. She has never been to Yakima and does not know anyone here. The woman called back to family in southern California and is currently waiting for them to wire money to her so that she can get back home.
The woman was so broken....Olivia and I listened with sadness. The woman's first husband was abusive also. He broke both of her wrists, her ribs, and would beat up her face badly. She divorced him, however she fell back into another abusive relationship. This is darkness....but Jesus' light is brighter than we could ever imagine! My first marriage was abusive. After getting a divorce... it took a lot of prayer and work trying to figure out what a "healthy" relationship looks like and what the characteristics are of an abusive relationship. It took learning and embracing my true identity in Christ to break the mind set of an abused person. I understood why she stayed and tried to make it work as well as the fear that kept her from trying to leave. It is hard to explain to someone who has not experienced it. You want so badly to be just loved for you and you think that if you just try a little harder and do things a little better, that the abuse will stop. You even start believing that you probably deserved what you got. The Lord spoke truth to this woman through my words. I explained that she needed to trust that God would get her back home but that she needed to start working on getting herself healthy mentally. We talked about the mindset and how when we understand our true identity in Christ...we replace those old thoughts that hold us captive. We talked about how you really have to address the things of the past to understand how you could ever get to the point of thinking that it was acceptable to be treated that way. "Your mother did not hold you in her arms when you were born and say ' I hope this child is abused,' " I said. We talked about breaking the cycle....her daughter is 24 and is also in a very unhealthy relationship. If the mama can break out of the cycle...it gives hope and a model for her daughter...and her granddaughter.
Light broke through the clouds as we stood with our hands on our new friend. We prayed for her and for God's mighty strength to cut through the darkness! As we we praying for our friend, Keith was standing with another volunteer and a man who lives at the mission- they were praying for a bike for him. The man works and lives at the mission but he comes over to help hand out clothes and food. So with heads bowed...they prayed for a bike that he can ride around since he does not have a car. But wait...there is more because while we were praying with the California woman and Keith and his group were praying with the man from the mission... Diane (wonderful volunteer!) was praying with a wonderfully colorful character who also lives on the street. Actually...he was the one leading the prayer...and what a prayer it was because his words blessed all those in the circle. Keith said it was so beautiful to look up and see three different groups of people (all unaware of the other) praying at the same time. God is so so wonderful and so so faithful!!! His light cuts through the darkness and allows wonderous light to flood through!! Thank You Jesus for shining Your amazing light down on us as well as our friends on North First Street! Your Love Truly is Amazing!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Psalm 139:14
Psalm 139:14 I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful!!! I love this scripture so much because it honors the Lord for making each person and it honors each individual person...God doesn't make junk....ever! Life happens to a lot of people and they may struggle dealing with it, but people are never junk.
I think that a great way to describe what motivates me each and every week is to take what Psalm 139:14 says and put it together with Nehemiah 8-9 "The joy of the Lord is my strength!" I find so much joy in ministering to all of the individual people that we meet on North First Street. It brings me great joy to talk with them and to serve them in the love of Jesus. I guess it is my own natural "high" or "rush". It isn't that I feel good because it is "me" doing something for someone therefore making me feel important but rather I think that it feels so good because I am feeling God's love flow through me as I serve others and it is His joy that I am feeling. It is a fulfilling, complete joy that is not dependent on the weather or the ease of the job. It is equally joyful on a warm sunny day that has light numbers as it is on a rainy or snowy day when we are swamped with 250 + people and working our tails off. No... "The joy of the Lord" really is "my strength" every week!
Today was an incredibly windy and surprisingly cold day! That sun was deceptive :0) But it was also a really fun day to hang out with our North First St. Friends. The Awesome Cash-n- Carry people donated 9 pastrami roasts so we cooked those up and had warm pastrami sandwiches. We also had peanut butter and jelly for the folks who didn't like pastrami or who couldn't eat it because of lack of teeth. It was so fun making and serving the sandwiches today because I was able to talk to each person while we put their sandwiches together. I loves asking, "How was your week?" "How are you doing?" It is a chance to give a few words of encouragement and life to them. It is amazing how what a few kind words and a big smile can do. Thank You Jesus!!!
Our daughter Olivia had her 12th birthday this weekend so she and some of her classmates made cupcakes as part of her birthday party activities. They decorated them so colorfully and made each one different and unique just like our friends. I know they really appreciated getting them today. Thanks for having beautiful hearts girls!! You are all a blessing to the Lord!
Two young men came through the line today. I see them weekly- they are about in their mid-20's or younger. We've thought for a long time that they are either drug dealers or pimps...but probably both :0). These guys have a hard exterior...tough...sort of "gang banger" like. Am I profiling?? Well sort of...but more like just stating the facts in a descriptive way...lol. Anyway... I was asking them what kind of sandwich they would like and how many and then I added, "I just have that mama thing and want to make sure that you have enough good food...and that you are taken care of." As soon as the words left my mouth, both guys let a wall of "guardedness" down and gave me big smiles. A softness came over their faces like a 5 year old boy who wants his mom. It was very sweet. I flashed them a big smile back and encouraged them to "stay safe this week and have a good one". It is these types of short encounters that are so filled with joy.
Another funny lady came through the line. She was wearing a long skirt and top without a coat. I have seen her often, but never in a skirt. As my eyes continued down I saw that she was barefoot. What??? Was she crazy or what?? We were all bundled up and freezing. I asked if she needed some shoes and she said, "No I like going barefoot and I really don't want any shoes." "O.K."...."Not a problem." :0)
One of my favorite older men who comes over to have lunch with us on Sundays seemed much cleaner and put together than normal. He always has his fluffy dog with him on a leash but is often very drunk. He didn't seem drunk today...he was cleaned up and his speech was much clearer. He always calls me "Dar'lin" "God bless you Dar'lin" he often yells out as he is leaving. Today he came through the line with his brother who was all shaven and clean. He told Keith "I'm clean and sober...no more. I am tired of it." Praise God!!! Whether he relapses or not....whether his brother was drunk today or not....he was clean today...he is trying...and he is working towards a better life! That is hopeful!! He gave me a big hug before he left and flashed a beautiful. Our God is hope, encouragement, love, and future! :0)
My day ended with picking up garbage...but I didn't get very far because I saw two of my river friends that I really enjoy talking to. I sat on the pavement by the big green dumpster talking to them as they organized their belongings and food before heading back to their home. While we were sitting there, I glanced over and saw an open can..."It is a energy drink..." he said with a sheepish smirk. I told him not to worry about it, it didn't matter to me. "It helps me with my mental issues," he continued. "No problem, really," I said, "It isn't like the hard stuff that you used to do right?" He agreed and I then encouraged him to just take it day by day...little by little...just keep working in the direction that is helping him to get closer to being healthy. He agreed that he has improved a lot but still has work to do. "Don't we all!" I replied! Everyone has something. We talked about mental illness and I asked them both about medications. They were surprised to know that I am on some of the same medications that they have are supposed to be on. We all have issues....They have just recently started working with the medical community but are afraid to tell them where they live for fear of being found and kicked out. Right now they feel safe and are with a few other people they can trust. It is a complex issue...But with God... All things are possible!!! Little by little....step by step.... Thank You Jesus!!
Keith had the story that just blew me out of the water today though....The newspaper ran an article today about what we do on North 1st. St. (Thank you April... you did a wonderful job!!) A man walked up to Keith shortly after we had gotten set up and started because he wanted to volunteer with the clothes area. Keith introduced himself and got busy showing the gentlemen what he could do to help. They grabbed a couple boxes filled with socks and men's shirts then walked down the line of people handing out all of their goods. The man was very joyful and seemed to really like the work as well as the interaction with the people. Keith eventually asked him how he had heard about it. He commenced to tell his story. Earlier this morning the man's dad read the article in the paper and cut it out for his son to read. The son read the article and then came out to volunteer. He said that he was released from prison 30 days ago.....and that he had been in prison for 20 years!!! Yes...20 years!!!! He grew up her in Yakima and dropped out of school when he was 17. He got into a lot of trouble and was put in the Yakima County Jail for a period of time. This is where he accepted Jesus into his heart and became a Christian. He spent the remaining 18 years serving out his sentence in prison as a Christian. In prison the man said that, "The Lord protected him all the way through." He said that he got good jobs in jail and was not ever hurt. When the man got out of jail a month ago, he met up with a man who had offered to take him to church back before he ever went to jail. The man didn't accept the invitation 20 years prior. God is so awesome because it was the same man that invited him to church over 20 years ago that offered him a job a few weeks ago. The man ended his story by saying that he is going to go with his friend to his church next weekend and that he really loves his job.
We have serve an Amazing, Incredible, Wonderful God who continually blows me away with his grace, mercy, and restoration!!! Thank You Jesus for loving us...for forgiving us for our sins....and for never giving up on us!!! It is an honor and a joy to serve You Jesus!!! "The joy of the Lord is my strength!!!" In Jesus Holy Name, Amen!!
I think that a great way to describe what motivates me each and every week is to take what Psalm 139:14 says and put it together with Nehemiah 8-9 "The joy of the Lord is my strength!" I find so much joy in ministering to all of the individual people that we meet on North First Street. It brings me great joy to talk with them and to serve them in the love of Jesus. I guess it is my own natural "high" or "rush". It isn't that I feel good because it is "me" doing something for someone therefore making me feel important but rather I think that it feels so good because I am feeling God's love flow through me as I serve others and it is His joy that I am feeling. It is a fulfilling, complete joy that is not dependent on the weather or the ease of the job. It is equally joyful on a warm sunny day that has light numbers as it is on a rainy or snowy day when we are swamped with 250 + people and working our tails off. No... "The joy of the Lord" really is "my strength" every week!
Today was an incredibly windy and surprisingly cold day! That sun was deceptive :0) But it was also a really fun day to hang out with our North First St. Friends. The Awesome Cash-n- Carry people donated 9 pastrami roasts so we cooked those up and had warm pastrami sandwiches. We also had peanut butter and jelly for the folks who didn't like pastrami or who couldn't eat it because of lack of teeth. It was so fun making and serving the sandwiches today because I was able to talk to each person while we put their sandwiches together. I loves asking, "How was your week?" "How are you doing?" It is a chance to give a few words of encouragement and life to them. It is amazing how what a few kind words and a big smile can do. Thank You Jesus!!!
Our daughter Olivia had her 12th birthday this weekend so she and some of her classmates made cupcakes as part of her birthday party activities. They decorated them so colorfully and made each one different and unique just like our friends. I know they really appreciated getting them today. Thanks for having beautiful hearts girls!! You are all a blessing to the Lord!
Two young men came through the line today. I see them weekly- they are about in their mid-20's or younger. We've thought for a long time that they are either drug dealers or pimps...but probably both :0). These guys have a hard exterior...tough...sort of "gang banger" like. Am I profiling?? Well sort of...but more like just stating the facts in a descriptive way...lol. Anyway... I was asking them what kind of sandwich they would like and how many and then I added, "I just have that mama thing and want to make sure that you have enough good food...and that you are taken care of." As soon as the words left my mouth, both guys let a wall of "guardedness" down and gave me big smiles. A softness came over their faces like a 5 year old boy who wants his mom. It was very sweet. I flashed them a big smile back and encouraged them to "stay safe this week and have a good one". It is these types of short encounters that are so filled with joy.
Another funny lady came through the line. She was wearing a long skirt and top without a coat. I have seen her often, but never in a skirt. As my eyes continued down I saw that she was barefoot. What??? Was she crazy or what?? We were all bundled up and freezing. I asked if she needed some shoes and she said, "No I like going barefoot and I really don't want any shoes." "O.K."...."Not a problem." :0)
One of my favorite older men who comes over to have lunch with us on Sundays seemed much cleaner and put together than normal. He always has his fluffy dog with him on a leash but is often very drunk. He didn't seem drunk today...he was cleaned up and his speech was much clearer. He always calls me "Dar'lin" "God bless you Dar'lin" he often yells out as he is leaving. Today he came through the line with his brother who was all shaven and clean. He told Keith "I'm clean and sober...no more. I am tired of it." Praise God!!! Whether he relapses or not....whether his brother was drunk today or not....he was clean today...he is trying...and he is working towards a better life! That is hopeful!! He gave me a big hug before he left and flashed a beautiful. Our God is hope, encouragement, love, and future! :0)
My day ended with picking up garbage...but I didn't get very far because I saw two of my river friends that I really enjoy talking to. I sat on the pavement by the big green dumpster talking to them as they organized their belongings and food before heading back to their home. While we were sitting there, I glanced over and saw an open can..."It is a energy drink..." he said with a sheepish smirk. I told him not to worry about it, it didn't matter to me. "It helps me with my mental issues," he continued. "No problem, really," I said, "It isn't like the hard stuff that you used to do right?" He agreed and I then encouraged him to just take it day by day...little by little...just keep working in the direction that is helping him to get closer to being healthy. He agreed that he has improved a lot but still has work to do. "Don't we all!" I replied! Everyone has something. We talked about mental illness and I asked them both about medications. They were surprised to know that I am on some of the same medications that they have are supposed to be on. We all have issues....They have just recently started working with the medical community but are afraid to tell them where they live for fear of being found and kicked out. Right now they feel safe and are with a few other people they can trust. It is a complex issue...But with God... All things are possible!!! Little by little....step by step.... Thank You Jesus!!
Keith had the story that just blew me out of the water today though....The newspaper ran an article today about what we do on North 1st. St. (Thank you April... you did a wonderful job!!) A man walked up to Keith shortly after we had gotten set up and started because he wanted to volunteer with the clothes area. Keith introduced himself and got busy showing the gentlemen what he could do to help. They grabbed a couple boxes filled with socks and men's shirts then walked down the line of people handing out all of their goods. The man was very joyful and seemed to really like the work as well as the interaction with the people. Keith eventually asked him how he had heard about it. He commenced to tell his story. Earlier this morning the man's dad read the article in the paper and cut it out for his son to read. The son read the article and then came out to volunteer. He said that he was released from prison 30 days ago.....and that he had been in prison for 20 years!!! Yes...20 years!!!! He grew up her in Yakima and dropped out of school when he was 17. He got into a lot of trouble and was put in the Yakima County Jail for a period of time. This is where he accepted Jesus into his heart and became a Christian. He spent the remaining 18 years serving out his sentence in prison as a Christian. In prison the man said that, "The Lord protected him all the way through." He said that he got good jobs in jail and was not ever hurt. When the man got out of jail a month ago, he met up with a man who had offered to take him to church back before he ever went to jail. The man didn't accept the invitation 20 years prior. God is so awesome because it was the same man that invited him to church over 20 years ago that offered him a job a few weeks ago. The man ended his story by saying that he is going to go with his friend to his church next weekend and that he really loves his job.
We have serve an Amazing, Incredible, Wonderful God who continually blows me away with his grace, mercy, and restoration!!! Thank You Jesus for loving us...for forgiving us for our sins....and for never giving up on us!!! It is an honor and a joy to serve You Jesus!!! "The joy of the Lord is my strength!!!" In Jesus Holy Name, Amen!!
Monday, February 25, 2013
A New Week
This has been an interesting but very good week this past week. Last Monday, Keith and I were asked to meet with some of the people that run the Union Gospel Mission. Initially I felt nervous and wondered what the Lord had in store for us. A lot of prayer and listening to the Lord took place as I continued to wrestle with the many ideas that encompass the homeless situation. I questioned what we were doing, whether it was helping the situation or adding to the dependence of a group of people. Our meeting with the mission went amazingly wonderful. They were very supportive of what we are doing and happy to see people from a variety of churches as well as the community coming together to try and help a very complex problem. The mission offered us use of their parking lot, garbage facility, kitchen, dining room, etc. to help reach out to the homeless community. We were excited to have more options, but one thing that stood out to me in our discussion was that the mission has questioned their own programs over the years wondering if they were enabling people to continue in a life style.
Deuteronomy (said with a creaky "Billy Crystal" voice) 15:11 says it very clearly: "For the poor will never cease from the land; therefore I command you, saying, 'You shall open your hand wide to your brother, to your poor and your needy, in your land.' " Matthew and Mark also each talk about how "You will have the poor with you always." When you combine this with the other scriptures that tell us to clothe and feed the poor....then I have my answer. The love of God is poured into each one of us by the Holy Spirit. That is exactly what happened when my heart broke open for the people we serve. I can not shake their hands and look them in the eye and continue to think of them as one general term.."the homeless". As soon as I reached out and touched their hand and looked them in the eye, they became individual people. Individual people with individual stories that have brought them to where they stand today. We all need love....It doesn't matter what age we are, what nationality, race, sex, or socio-economic group. We are transformed by the love of God and I believe that God is transforming those on North First Street by His love as well as all of the volunteers.
1 Cor. 12:13 and 14 "For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free and have all been made to drink into one spirit....For in fact the body is not one member but many." It takes a lot of people to show the love of Jesus, but there is unity of 1 spirit...Jesus!!! People minister through their gifts for the purpose of edifying and glorifying God. The mission has wonderful programs that teach computer skills, they feed over 600 meals a day on week days, and they have numerous programs for rehabilitation as well as safety for women and children. People from our community volunteer their time and services in the medical and dental clinic, the Homeless Coalition works to reach out. Numerous churches throughout the valley reach out. It takes many people ministering to each other to make it through life. That is what happens in individual churches all the time. We are just trying to bring the church to the people. It is one more layer of outreach.
I see the transformations happening from week to week. From blessing to blessing....from glory to glory! Chris...a name from way back- was in jail for a time and has been able to stay clean. He shared that he has re-united with his mom which has been really good. He said that it makes him so happy when he sees his mom happy. It was so sweet to hear him say this. He is in his late 20's, a bit hardened from the streets...but he sounded like a little boy when he said this about his mom. It was a bit humbling though when he asked if he could have a pen that could be thrown away after he used it...it took me a minute to realize what he was saying. Chris has HIV and had an open sore on his cut on his hand so he didn't want to borrow a pen and risk infecting me with HIV. It was very sweet... and also sad.
Rosa came today with her friends from the river. She gave me a great big hug that was genuine. Rosa's boyfriend came up to me right before they were leaving. He is a very quiet soft spoken person who seems to have a lot of hurt, but a very gentle spirit. "I just want to thank you guys so much for doing what you do. It means a lot to us. Please make sure and tell Keith how much we appreciate it." He gave me a sheepish grin, turned, and was on his way.
Another couple who we ministered to back in the summer came by to say hi and to show us pictures of their little baby girl. They are no longer living on the streets because they are sharing a place with a family member. Their little girl looked healthy and adorable. Seeing them walk up with big smiles was a joyful experience.
One of the much "harsher" possibly "cranky" characters that comes out to North First Street was in a great mood today. It was fun to be able to bless him with something as simple as a rope and a bungee cord. Such simple things....but it meant a lot to him that we would just give them to him. I shared with him about how I listen to the Holy Spirit when I grocery shop and sometimes the Holy Spirit prompts me to buy something ...."I don't always know who it is for," I said "but look- it was for you today!" He smiled and laughed as we loaded him up with peanut butter, jelly, bread, sandwiches and food for the people that he takes care of down by the river. I told him that I thought it was very awesome that he ministers to his friends down by the river by taking care of them. He may be extremely dirty, a little rough, kind of grouchy sometimes, and kind of harsh, but as I get to know him better I can also see the funny, kind, gentle, caring side of him also. I am learning that every person has their own story and that often it isn't even close to my "generalized pre-judgement".
Today as we re-directed the line of people to our new location, I was able to talk to the people as they waited in line a little more than I usually get to do. One young mom- probably in her mid to late 20's said, "Thanks for doing this... people don't understand why we are here. We aren't like....you know...like " she looked down at her two little kids who were playing with rocks on the ground while they waited for their lunch "like---druggies and bums. We are just people that are having a hard time."
I couldn't agree with her more. One of the young women who stays at the mission with her two children is pregnant. She has been working at her new job for 2 1/2 months and has been saving her pay checks so that she can put it down on a place at the end of this month. She looked so together compared to the first week that we met her. Her life is coming together....and it is a wonderful thing!
I know that the city is trying to clean up the city....and that they are moving out a lot of the homeless so they are not "visible" to the public. I understand why this is important, but I am just not sure where they will go because they will go somewhere...they probably won't move away to some other town... they will just be more creative in where they hide. The problem is very complex and not easily solved, but with a community of people including the mission, local churches, city programs, and people who have a heart for the homeless....there is HOPE...Great Big Jesus HOPE!! Little by little, one relationship at a time....There will always be poor....but the Lord is showing me the individual people behind the label...."the poor"....and I have been blessed to have met some really awesome people!
Deuteronomy (said with a creaky "Billy Crystal" voice) 15:11 says it very clearly: "For the poor will never cease from the land; therefore I command you, saying, 'You shall open your hand wide to your brother, to your poor and your needy, in your land.' " Matthew and Mark also each talk about how "You will have the poor with you always." When you combine this with the other scriptures that tell us to clothe and feed the poor....then I have my answer. The love of God is poured into each one of us by the Holy Spirit. That is exactly what happened when my heart broke open for the people we serve. I can not shake their hands and look them in the eye and continue to think of them as one general term.."the homeless". As soon as I reached out and touched their hand and looked them in the eye, they became individual people. Individual people with individual stories that have brought them to where they stand today. We all need love....It doesn't matter what age we are, what nationality, race, sex, or socio-economic group. We are transformed by the love of God and I believe that God is transforming those on North First Street by His love as well as all of the volunteers.
1 Cor. 12:13 and 14 "For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free and have all been made to drink into one spirit....For in fact the body is not one member but many." It takes a lot of people to show the love of Jesus, but there is unity of 1 spirit...Jesus!!! People minister through their gifts for the purpose of edifying and glorifying God. The mission has wonderful programs that teach computer skills, they feed over 600 meals a day on week days, and they have numerous programs for rehabilitation as well as safety for women and children. People from our community volunteer their time and services in the medical and dental clinic, the Homeless Coalition works to reach out. Numerous churches throughout the valley reach out. It takes many people ministering to each other to make it through life. That is what happens in individual churches all the time. We are just trying to bring the church to the people. It is one more layer of outreach.
I see the transformations happening from week to week. From blessing to blessing....from glory to glory! Chris...a name from way back- was in jail for a time and has been able to stay clean. He shared that he has re-united with his mom which has been really good. He said that it makes him so happy when he sees his mom happy. It was so sweet to hear him say this. He is in his late 20's, a bit hardened from the streets...but he sounded like a little boy when he said this about his mom. It was a bit humbling though when he asked if he could have a pen that could be thrown away after he used it...it took me a minute to realize what he was saying. Chris has HIV and had an open sore on his cut on his hand so he didn't want to borrow a pen and risk infecting me with HIV. It was very sweet... and also sad.
Rosa came today with her friends from the river. She gave me a great big hug that was genuine. Rosa's boyfriend came up to me right before they were leaving. He is a very quiet soft spoken person who seems to have a lot of hurt, but a very gentle spirit. "I just want to thank you guys so much for doing what you do. It means a lot to us. Please make sure and tell Keith how much we appreciate it." He gave me a sheepish grin, turned, and was on his way.
Another couple who we ministered to back in the summer came by to say hi and to show us pictures of their little baby girl. They are no longer living on the streets because they are sharing a place with a family member. Their little girl looked healthy and adorable. Seeing them walk up with big smiles was a joyful experience.
One of the much "harsher" possibly "cranky" characters that comes out to North First Street was in a great mood today. It was fun to be able to bless him with something as simple as a rope and a bungee cord. Such simple things....but it meant a lot to him that we would just give them to him. I shared with him about how I listen to the Holy Spirit when I grocery shop and sometimes the Holy Spirit prompts me to buy something ...."I don't always know who it is for," I said "but look- it was for you today!" He smiled and laughed as we loaded him up with peanut butter, jelly, bread, sandwiches and food for the people that he takes care of down by the river. I told him that I thought it was very awesome that he ministers to his friends down by the river by taking care of them. He may be extremely dirty, a little rough, kind of grouchy sometimes, and kind of harsh, but as I get to know him better I can also see the funny, kind, gentle, caring side of him also. I am learning that every person has their own story and that often it isn't even close to my "generalized pre-judgement".
Today as we re-directed the line of people to our new location, I was able to talk to the people as they waited in line a little more than I usually get to do. One young mom- probably in her mid to late 20's said, "Thanks for doing this... people don't understand why we are here. We aren't like....you know...like " she looked down at her two little kids who were playing with rocks on the ground while they waited for their lunch "like---druggies and bums. We are just people that are having a hard time."
I couldn't agree with her more. One of the young women who stays at the mission with her two children is pregnant. She has been working at her new job for 2 1/2 months and has been saving her pay checks so that she can put it down on a place at the end of this month. She looked so together compared to the first week that we met her. Her life is coming together....and it is a wonderful thing!
I know that the city is trying to clean up the city....and that they are moving out a lot of the homeless so they are not "visible" to the public. I understand why this is important, but I am just not sure where they will go because they will go somewhere...they probably won't move away to some other town... they will just be more creative in where they hide. The problem is very complex and not easily solved, but with a community of people including the mission, local churches, city programs, and people who have a heart for the homeless....there is HOPE...Great Big Jesus HOPE!! Little by little, one relationship at a time....There will always be poor....but the Lord is showing me the individual people behind the label...."the poor"....and I have been blessed to have met some really awesome people!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.....
I was raised Catholic and grew up with "The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit"....and fast forward to now...Our church is going through a teaching called "Alpha". Basically it is a teaching of our basic Christian beliefs. Tonight we talked about the Holy Spirit and how He works. God in heaven needed to come to earth to be a sacrifice for our sins so He asked His son Jesus to come down and walk on the earth with us, to die for our sins, and then to rise again to His right place in Heaven. But God loves us so much that He sent His Holy Spirit to dwell in us so that we will never walk without Him again. The Holy Spirit ministers to our spirit so that we walk in the will of God!
Joel 2: 27, 28 says, "Then you will know that I am among my people Israel, that I am the LORD your God, and there is no other. Never again will my people be disgraced. Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions." The Holy Spirit is for ALL people! Praise God!!! The word used for "pouring out" used in the old testament translates into an image of the Holy Spirit surrounding us/engulfing us like a ship sinking and being engulfed by the ocean water.
The Holy Spirit testifies to our spirit and to God on behalf of us.....and when we step out in faith on North 1st St. in the boldness of the Holy Spirit to reach out to the lost... we get the honor of being a conduit....a connection between the Holy Spirit and the lost.... God can move without us, but He allows us to experience the joy of being the Hands and Feet of Christ!!! So I see it like this.... God speaks to us through the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit reaches the lost through our obedience and even though they may think that they are being drawn to the empty lot on North First St. every Sunday because of the food and clothes....they are getting a Holy Spirit bonus!!! They are getting drawn in and immersed in the Holy Spirit in a way that engulfs their spirits....in a way that changes them little by little....like a sinking ship that starts taking on water...the water seeps through the holes in the ship and slowly fills it until it is completely submerged.
The people on North First St. may or may not be ready to die to their old selves...but the more the Holy Spirit seeps into the bows of their ship...the more they are "considering Jesus". Praise God!!!! And many of them are considering Jesus!!
The Holy Spirit is revealing Himself more and more to all of us!! A great example... Maria from last week who just returned from treatment for Meth wanted to go to church with us so I called her and arranged to pick her up for service. (Which for me was a huge step because I have a lot of anxiety and it was out of my comfort zone.) Keith and I talked about where to take her both last night and this morning. I wanted it to be the right fit...Church's have different cultures...as was the sermon today :0) and I wanted the church culture to be one where she felt comfortable and that met her needs. Keith and I made a 11th hour decision and took her to a church that was right in her neighborhood. We didn't know that it was going to be a great fit...but the Holy Spirit did! Maria raised her hand at the end with the alter call and said that she thought her husband would also enjoy it. The church offered the support for her recovery that she will need in the coming months. Thank You Jesus for speaking to us in Your Amazing Wisdom!!!
Another great example... Keith prayed on the way down to North First today..."Holy Spirit, please open my ears and my eyes today to see what you want me to see and to be bold." Fast forward to our day...Keith walked down the line of homeless people who were waiting to get their meal. He shook each of their hands and looked them in the eye with a friendly welcome. One man in particular caught his attention. Joe was an older man in his 50's. His face looked as if it had been clawed by a bear. Deep claw marks ran from his forehead, down across his eye, over his cheek, draping down his neck. It truly looked like he had been malled. His other eye and cheek showed that he had been badly beaten. Keith in boldness said, "Man, what happened to you? Someone messed you up! What is your name?" The man was reserved but did introduce Keith to his wife and then turned away. Keith worked his way down the line and then returned to them with a box of clothes. Does anyone need gloves? Joe raised his hand and accepted the gloves and shirts that Keith was offering. Later in the day he and his wife ate their lunch by the area where Keith was handing out clothes so Keith was able to talk a bit back and forth with him. The man and his wife opened up and connected with Keith. Well... the Holy Spirit is so cool because He prompted someone in our volunteer group to bring cookies that had scripture written inside. Joe and his wife left and walked back to the mission only to return shortly after to say that the scripture that he read meant more to him today than any in his whole life!!! Wow, Wow, and Wow!!! God is so so so cool.
The Holy Spirit is doing a work in all of us....before we even arrived today, people were lined up waiting. Through these months they have learned that if they wait in line on Sundays about 2:00 in this empty lot....good things will come. They will receive good things...hot food...warm clothes...love...kindness...no judgement....they don't know it, but what they receive is the Holy Spirit...each week seeping into their bows....each week peeling layer after layer off of the hard shell that oppresses their spirit. A man that was standing back in the line asked Keith, "What's up there?" He wanted to know what kind of food we were serving today. Keith told him and he was so happy. "That's my favorite! (spaghetti)" He trusted that if he stood in this really long line... not knowing what would be there...that it would be something "good". We know that what they experience is the Holy Spirit...extended through the hands and feet of amazing volunteers both young and old with hearts that love Jesus!!! Grade school kids, jr. high kids, highschool kids, young adults, young families, middle aged couples, and older wonder folks who just want to show the love of Jesus....that's what they experience.
The incredible joy that we feel preparing food, sorting clothes, packing the trailer, and serving each week is only from The Holy Spirit! It is a joy that I can not explain well... it is a joy that bursts from my chest...it is a joy that engulfs me as I burn my fingers on hot spaghetti noodles, and try to figure out how to make the hundred + pounds of pasta??? That kind of joy is not logical given the tasks but is totally understandable given the Holy Spirit!!!
My last story... Rosa....lives by the river...has been estranged from her family for a long time...asked for prayer a while back...said that she had 4 of the best days she has ever had with her mom last week. Praise God!!! Layer by layer... the Holy Spirit is seeping in!!! Two different homeless people today shared how they take care of others down by the river. I sent extra with them...Now they didn't say it in a manipulative way as if to get more food... in each case it came up later in the conversation... how they were getting the things they were for people they were caring for. These are people with nothing...people who are dirtier and more ragged than any of the people out there and they are caring for other people. The Holy Spirit is ministering to all of us...rich or poor...man or woman...child or adult...the Holy Spirit is healing and filling and restoring what was lost.
Thank You Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for ministering to my heart every day...every minute! Thank You for Your provision, Your strength, You unending love!! Thank You! It is an honor and a privilege to serve You. I love You with all of my heart!! Please continue to seep into my bough and engulf me with Your Spirit! In Jesus Name Amen :0)
Joel 2: 27, 28 says, "Then you will know that I am among my people Israel, that I am the LORD your God, and there is no other. Never again will my people be disgraced. Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions." The Holy Spirit is for ALL people! Praise God!!! The word used for "pouring out" used in the old testament translates into an image of the Holy Spirit surrounding us/engulfing us like a ship sinking and being engulfed by the ocean water.
The Holy Spirit testifies to our spirit and to God on behalf of us.....and when we step out in faith on North 1st St. in the boldness of the Holy Spirit to reach out to the lost... we get the honor of being a conduit....a connection between the Holy Spirit and the lost.... God can move without us, but He allows us to experience the joy of being the Hands and Feet of Christ!!! So I see it like this.... God speaks to us through the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit reaches the lost through our obedience and even though they may think that they are being drawn to the empty lot on North First St. every Sunday because of the food and clothes....they are getting a Holy Spirit bonus!!! They are getting drawn in and immersed in the Holy Spirit in a way that engulfs their spirits....in a way that changes them little by little....like a sinking ship that starts taking on water...the water seeps through the holes in the ship and slowly fills it until it is completely submerged.
The people on North First St. may or may not be ready to die to their old selves...but the more the Holy Spirit seeps into the bows of their ship...the more they are "considering Jesus". Praise God!!!! And many of them are considering Jesus!!
The Holy Spirit is revealing Himself more and more to all of us!! A great example... Maria from last week who just returned from treatment for Meth wanted to go to church with us so I called her and arranged to pick her up for service. (Which for me was a huge step because I have a lot of anxiety and it was out of my comfort zone.) Keith and I talked about where to take her both last night and this morning. I wanted it to be the right fit...Church's have different cultures...as was the sermon today :0) and I wanted the church culture to be one where she felt comfortable and that met her needs. Keith and I made a 11th hour decision and took her to a church that was right in her neighborhood. We didn't know that it was going to be a great fit...but the Holy Spirit did! Maria raised her hand at the end with the alter call and said that she thought her husband would also enjoy it. The church offered the support for her recovery that she will need in the coming months. Thank You Jesus for speaking to us in Your Amazing Wisdom!!!
Another great example... Keith prayed on the way down to North First today..."Holy Spirit, please open my ears and my eyes today to see what you want me to see and to be bold." Fast forward to our day...Keith walked down the line of homeless people who were waiting to get their meal. He shook each of their hands and looked them in the eye with a friendly welcome. One man in particular caught his attention. Joe was an older man in his 50's. His face looked as if it had been clawed by a bear. Deep claw marks ran from his forehead, down across his eye, over his cheek, draping down his neck. It truly looked like he had been malled. His other eye and cheek showed that he had been badly beaten. Keith in boldness said, "Man, what happened to you? Someone messed you up! What is your name?" The man was reserved but did introduce Keith to his wife and then turned away. Keith worked his way down the line and then returned to them with a box of clothes. Does anyone need gloves? Joe raised his hand and accepted the gloves and shirts that Keith was offering. Later in the day he and his wife ate their lunch by the area where Keith was handing out clothes so Keith was able to talk a bit back and forth with him. The man and his wife opened up and connected with Keith. Well... the Holy Spirit is so cool because He prompted someone in our volunteer group to bring cookies that had scripture written inside. Joe and his wife left and walked back to the mission only to return shortly after to say that the scripture that he read meant more to him today than any in his whole life!!! Wow, Wow, and Wow!!! God is so so so cool.
The Holy Spirit is doing a work in all of us....before we even arrived today, people were lined up waiting. Through these months they have learned that if they wait in line on Sundays about 2:00 in this empty lot....good things will come. They will receive good things...hot food...warm clothes...love...kindness...no judgement....they don't know it, but what they receive is the Holy Spirit...each week seeping into their bows....each week peeling layer after layer off of the hard shell that oppresses their spirit. A man that was standing back in the line asked Keith, "What's up there?" He wanted to know what kind of food we were serving today. Keith told him and he was so happy. "That's my favorite! (spaghetti)" He trusted that if he stood in this really long line... not knowing what would be there...that it would be something "good". We know that what they experience is the Holy Spirit...extended through the hands and feet of amazing volunteers both young and old with hearts that love Jesus!!! Grade school kids, jr. high kids, highschool kids, young adults, young families, middle aged couples, and older wonder folks who just want to show the love of Jesus....that's what they experience.
The incredible joy that we feel preparing food, sorting clothes, packing the trailer, and serving each week is only from The Holy Spirit! It is a joy that I can not explain well... it is a joy that bursts from my chest...it is a joy that engulfs me as I burn my fingers on hot spaghetti noodles, and try to figure out how to make the hundred + pounds of pasta??? That kind of joy is not logical given the tasks but is totally understandable given the Holy Spirit!!!
My last story... Rosa....lives by the river...has been estranged from her family for a long time...asked for prayer a while back...said that she had 4 of the best days she has ever had with her mom last week. Praise God!!! Layer by layer... the Holy Spirit is seeping in!!! Two different homeless people today shared how they take care of others down by the river. I sent extra with them...Now they didn't say it in a manipulative way as if to get more food... in each case it came up later in the conversation... how they were getting the things they were for people they were caring for. These are people with nothing...people who are dirtier and more ragged than any of the people out there and they are caring for other people. The Holy Spirit is ministering to all of us...rich or poor...man or woman...child or adult...the Holy Spirit is healing and filling and restoring what was lost.
Thank You Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for ministering to my heart every day...every minute! Thank You for Your provision, Your strength, You unending love!! Thank You! It is an honor and a privilege to serve You. I love You with all of my heart!! Please continue to seep into my bough and engulf me with Your Spirit! In Jesus Name Amen :0)
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Honor and Respect
James 4:14 "whereas you do not know what [will happen] tomorrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapor that
appears for a little time and then vanishes away." This was the verse our pastor spoke on today. He referred to our lives as a "Poof!" Pastor challenged us to look at our lives and decide what we want to do with our "Poof" of time here on earth.
Later in the day I listened to Richard LeMiuex, the author of "Breakfast At Sally's" speak at St. Timothy's Evangelical Church about his experience being homeless. This man was a very wealthy business man who lived in Seattle back in the 1980's. He traveled to Europe, had waterfront property, 3 boats, multiple cars, etc. however, when Microsoft came along with the computer age, his company went under because it was no longer needed. Richard eventually lost his business and sunk into a deep depression. He lost his business, home, wife,......everything except his clothes, a van, and his little dog "Willow". There were a couple of things that stood out to me during his presentation. One thing that he said was, "As humans, we were created to love...inside each and every one of us is a huge desire to love....we each have so much to give." We were created in the image of God and God is love so it stands to reason that as humans, we were indeed created to love.
When I look at the world around me and observe people from a newborn to a an elderly person on their death bed...I have never seen someone who was injured from being loved too much, but I have seen so many people who were hurt from being loved too little or in the wrong way. As humans we all desperately want to be needed, accepted for who we are, and loved. Today during church Keith and I were able to hold a beautiful little tiny baby boy who is currently in foster care with one of our church members. I watched that tiny little beautiful boy curl up against Keith's chest.... so peaceful, so safe, and so loved by a total stranger. As long as he continues to have loving hands and loving words care for him... he has a great chance to grow into a healthy, productive member of society. It is when the love gets perverted or does not exist that horrible damage occurs. Horrible damage that does not last for just the moment that it happens but for some....a life time.
The people out on North First Street are first hand examples of people who are or have been so deeply hurt. Their pain is so real and raw....which has led them to self-medication with drugs and alcohol. When I see them lined up out in the empty lot when we drive up, I see a line of people who once were somebodies baby.... who once were toddlers....and kindergarten students. All of the people standing in line waiting for some food or a clean pair of pants were created by God with a heart to love and be loved. Their cup that needs to be filled is the same size as any one of us.....it is often just much more empty. No one grows up wanting to sell their body for their next fix....but it is where some end up. No four year old says, "When I grow up, I want to shoot heroine so that I won't feel the pain and memories of my past abuse." No one wants that.....
I have been created to love....and I have decided to reach out to the people on North First St. as one way of showing my love. Love does not mean handing them money, or rescuing them, or enabling them, but it does mean treating them with respect and honoring them as people. Richard LeMiuex said that the one thing that stood out to him so much was when a church reached out to him with food every Friday and Saturday night. He said that the little lady that ran it would put white table cloths on the tables for them, she would look them in the eye and shake their hand, and she would serve them delicious food that was as wonderful as any of the food that he had eaten in his past life when he was wealthy. He said that it was the love, respect, and honor that those people gave that helped him to find hope again.
Jesus instructs us in Mark 12:30 "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. The second is this....love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
So of all the things that Jesus said.....the greatest is to love.....My life is learning what it means to love....Continue to grow me and teach me dear Lord!!
Today one of our North First St. friends who I have spoken about before stood in line. He has Huntington's Disease and is in his early 30's. Huntington's Disease is a degenerative neurological disease that causes the person's muscles to slowly stop working until they die. D was standing in line twitching and writhing uncontrollably. His eyes were blood red from his drug of choice that relieves some of the pain but causes him to space out. With sloppy joe's on the menu, there was no way that he would be able to hold his tray while going through the food line so I told him I would get food for him. He went over and sat against the wall while I dished him up. As I walked up to him I could see his body twitching and moving continually as he propped himself up against the brick building. His sweat pants were down well below his bottom in back leaving his bare buns on the cold dirt ground. A strong smell hung in the air around him, but he was obviously hungry. I handed D his food and then went off to find him some clean clothes. Shortly I returned to find D inhaling his food. He seemed agitated so I did not bother him with a lot of conversation today. I did ask him if he wanted me to call a dr. for him, but he said he just needed to sleep. All I could think of was "How is D going to die? Will he be alone? Will he be outside or inside? Will he be wasted and numb or alert and aware? Will he be in pain? Will anyone notice???"
There are two other people from North 1st. who I haven't seen for a number of months. One had tumors growing in her abdomen and the other was an older man who had a severe drinking problem. Both had asked for prayer within the last months before they disappeared. They were kind, loving people with very deep hurts. I have asked around a lot to see if anyone has seen either one of them, but no one has. They did not hang out together so it is not like they both went off together. My question is...did they each die from their individual illnesses?? Were they alone? "Poof!" Does anyone miss them? Did anyone notice?? The truth is.... Yes... God noticed. He notices and knows every single person on this earth and He loves each and every one of them whether they are a meth. addict or an alcoholic or a schizophrenic just as much as He loves anyone of us.... Humbling and eye opening...they are my neighbor... I am commanded to love....respect, dignity, and honor...(not enable, enable or pity).
One more story.... There was a woman that I met this past summer on North First. She was in her late 40's to mid 50's...no more than 100 lbs. Cathy had a beautiful, kind, and gentle spirit. This woman shared with me that she loved Jesus so much but she was dying of cancer. Her body was visibly wasting away, but she had such a beautiful peace. Cathy shared that she drank throughout the day to try and lessen the pain. I could relate to what she said because 2 years ago I sat by my mom's bedside while she died of cancer. She was in so much pain that the drs. had to give her enormous doses of morphine to keep her body from crying out in pain. I remember my mom whispering to me through the haziness of the medicine, "Camille, you do not know how damn bad this hurts!" I would do anything possible to take that pain away. Blessedly...the doctors were able to numb the pain with medicine for the few weeks before she went to meet Jesus. If Cathy was my mom, I would want her to stay buzzed if it kept her from suffering. The man that was with her that day encouraged her to share what had happened to her in her past....Cathy humbly shared with me that day how she had been raped with a butcher knife. I can't imagine....I can't imagine....Shortly after that week, I was told that Cathy went back to Seattle where she was able to get medical care through her final days battling with cancer. What was remarkable to me was the peace and joy that she had despite the horrible things that she had gone through. I can't judge....but I can love...Cathy embraced love! Cathy embraced Jesus!!
Maria came up to me today...the same Maria who walked up to me a month and a half ago to tell me that she was going into rehab.....She went to rehab in Spokane and is back. She got back yesterday and so she had her husband drive her over to us so that she could share what has happened. Maria went to church every day when she was up there. She said that the first week was the hardest because of the depression and emotional stuff that she had to deal with. Maria said that nights are still really hard for her because she has night mares about her grandfather who molested her through her early years. She said that she fights the urge to numb the pain, but she is going to follow up with intensive outpatient care here in town as well as mental health. Her husband is a great support to her so I ask that you will pray that Maria stays close to Jesus' feet and is able to find true freedom through Jesus!! She asked about my church and expressed an interest in going so next week I get to bring both Maria and her husband to service! She is seeking Him...seeking the Creator....the Healer....The Author of our lives....The True Hope!! Praise God!!!
Chris...showed up this week....clean and sober....he has been released from jail and is following the guidelines of the court....he is doing the things asked of him by his parole officer and he is moving towards a clean life. A purposeful move down the path that leads to a future rather than death! Another celebration!! Please pray for Chris!
Last week may have felt discouraging... let's see... 1 Sunday out of 18 months of Sundays...that is 1%. That is nothing!! My heart hurts with a raw, sorrowful pain....a pain for people...a pain that only God can heal. God continues to impart on our hearts that we can not go wrong by loving too much!! Love is the great commandment....Thank You Jesus for showing us how to love...Thank You Jesus for continuing to take away our filters of "who" deserves love because you are showing us that ALL people deserve love and ALL people deserve to be treated with honor and respect!
Later in the day I listened to Richard LeMiuex, the author of "Breakfast At Sally's" speak at St. Timothy's Evangelical Church about his experience being homeless. This man was a very wealthy business man who lived in Seattle back in the 1980's. He traveled to Europe, had waterfront property, 3 boats, multiple cars, etc. however, when Microsoft came along with the computer age, his company went under because it was no longer needed. Richard eventually lost his business and sunk into a deep depression. He lost his business, home, wife,......everything except his clothes, a van, and his little dog "Willow". There were a couple of things that stood out to me during his presentation. One thing that he said was, "As humans, we were created to love...inside each and every one of us is a huge desire to love....we each have so much to give." We were created in the image of God and God is love so it stands to reason that as humans, we were indeed created to love.
When I look at the world around me and observe people from a newborn to a an elderly person on their death bed...I have never seen someone who was injured from being loved too much, but I have seen so many people who were hurt from being loved too little or in the wrong way. As humans we all desperately want to be needed, accepted for who we are, and loved. Today during church Keith and I were able to hold a beautiful little tiny baby boy who is currently in foster care with one of our church members. I watched that tiny little beautiful boy curl up against Keith's chest.... so peaceful, so safe, and so loved by a total stranger. As long as he continues to have loving hands and loving words care for him... he has a great chance to grow into a healthy, productive member of society. It is when the love gets perverted or does not exist that horrible damage occurs. Horrible damage that does not last for just the moment that it happens but for some....a life time.
The people out on North First Street are first hand examples of people who are or have been so deeply hurt. Their pain is so real and raw....which has led them to self-medication with drugs and alcohol. When I see them lined up out in the empty lot when we drive up, I see a line of people who once were somebodies baby.... who once were toddlers....and kindergarten students. All of the people standing in line waiting for some food or a clean pair of pants were created by God with a heart to love and be loved. Their cup that needs to be filled is the same size as any one of us.....it is often just much more empty. No one grows up wanting to sell their body for their next fix....but it is where some end up. No four year old says, "When I grow up, I want to shoot heroine so that I won't feel the pain and memories of my past abuse." No one wants that.....
I have been created to love....and I have decided to reach out to the people on North First St. as one way of showing my love. Love does not mean handing them money, or rescuing them, or enabling them, but it does mean treating them with respect and honoring them as people. Richard LeMiuex said that the one thing that stood out to him so much was when a church reached out to him with food every Friday and Saturday night. He said that the little lady that ran it would put white table cloths on the tables for them, she would look them in the eye and shake their hand, and she would serve them delicious food that was as wonderful as any of the food that he had eaten in his past life when he was wealthy. He said that it was the love, respect, and honor that those people gave that helped him to find hope again.
Jesus instructs us in Mark 12:30 "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. The second is this....love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
So of all the things that Jesus said.....the greatest is to love.....My life is learning what it means to love....Continue to grow me and teach me dear Lord!!
Today one of our North First St. friends who I have spoken about before stood in line. He has Huntington's Disease and is in his early 30's. Huntington's Disease is a degenerative neurological disease that causes the person's muscles to slowly stop working until they die. D was standing in line twitching and writhing uncontrollably. His eyes were blood red from his drug of choice that relieves some of the pain but causes him to space out. With sloppy joe's on the menu, there was no way that he would be able to hold his tray while going through the food line so I told him I would get food for him. He went over and sat against the wall while I dished him up. As I walked up to him I could see his body twitching and moving continually as he propped himself up against the brick building. His sweat pants were down well below his bottom in back leaving his bare buns on the cold dirt ground. A strong smell hung in the air around him, but he was obviously hungry. I handed D his food and then went off to find him some clean clothes. Shortly I returned to find D inhaling his food. He seemed agitated so I did not bother him with a lot of conversation today. I did ask him if he wanted me to call a dr. for him, but he said he just needed to sleep. All I could think of was "How is D going to die? Will he be alone? Will he be outside or inside? Will he be wasted and numb or alert and aware? Will he be in pain? Will anyone notice???"
There are two other people from North 1st. who I haven't seen for a number of months. One had tumors growing in her abdomen and the other was an older man who had a severe drinking problem. Both had asked for prayer within the last months before they disappeared. They were kind, loving people with very deep hurts. I have asked around a lot to see if anyone has seen either one of them, but no one has. They did not hang out together so it is not like they both went off together. My question is...did they each die from their individual illnesses?? Were they alone? "Poof!" Does anyone miss them? Did anyone notice?? The truth is.... Yes... God noticed. He notices and knows every single person on this earth and He loves each and every one of them whether they are a meth. addict or an alcoholic or a schizophrenic just as much as He loves anyone of us.... Humbling and eye opening...they are my neighbor... I am commanded to love....respect, dignity, and honor...(not enable, enable or pity).
One more story.... There was a woman that I met this past summer on North First. She was in her late 40's to mid 50's...no more than 100 lbs. Cathy had a beautiful, kind, and gentle spirit. This woman shared with me that she loved Jesus so much but she was dying of cancer. Her body was visibly wasting away, but she had such a beautiful peace. Cathy shared that she drank throughout the day to try and lessen the pain. I could relate to what she said because 2 years ago I sat by my mom's bedside while she died of cancer. She was in so much pain that the drs. had to give her enormous doses of morphine to keep her body from crying out in pain. I remember my mom whispering to me through the haziness of the medicine, "Camille, you do not know how damn bad this hurts!" I would do anything possible to take that pain away. Blessedly...the doctors were able to numb the pain with medicine for the few weeks before she went to meet Jesus. If Cathy was my mom, I would want her to stay buzzed if it kept her from suffering. The man that was with her that day encouraged her to share what had happened to her in her past....Cathy humbly shared with me that day how she had been raped with a butcher knife. I can't imagine....I can't imagine....Shortly after that week, I was told that Cathy went back to Seattle where she was able to get medical care through her final days battling with cancer. What was remarkable to me was the peace and joy that she had despite the horrible things that she had gone through. I can't judge....but I can love...Cathy embraced love! Cathy embraced Jesus!!
Maria came up to me today...the same Maria who walked up to me a month and a half ago to tell me that she was going into rehab.....She went to rehab in Spokane and is back. She got back yesterday and so she had her husband drive her over to us so that she could share what has happened. Maria went to church every day when she was up there. She said that the first week was the hardest because of the depression and emotional stuff that she had to deal with. Maria said that nights are still really hard for her because she has night mares about her grandfather who molested her through her early years. She said that she fights the urge to numb the pain, but she is going to follow up with intensive outpatient care here in town as well as mental health. Her husband is a great support to her so I ask that you will pray that Maria stays close to Jesus' feet and is able to find true freedom through Jesus!! She asked about my church and expressed an interest in going so next week I get to bring both Maria and her husband to service! She is seeking Him...seeking the Creator....the Healer....The Author of our lives....The True Hope!! Praise God!!!
Chris...showed up this week....clean and sober....he has been released from jail and is following the guidelines of the court....he is doing the things asked of him by his parole officer and he is moving towards a clean life. A purposeful move down the path that leads to a future rather than death! Another celebration!! Please pray for Chris!
Last week may have felt discouraging... let's see... 1 Sunday out of 18 months of Sundays...that is 1%. That is nothing!! My heart hurts with a raw, sorrowful pain....a pain for people...a pain that only God can heal. God continues to impart on our hearts that we can not go wrong by loving too much!! Love is the great commandment....Thank You Jesus for showing us how to love...Thank You Jesus for continuing to take away our filters of "who" deserves love because you are showing us that ALL people deserve love and ALL people deserve to be treated with honor and respect!
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