God- The Author and Illustrator!

God is the author and illustrator of this world well as life!  Today He orchestrated a beautiful smorgasbord of people, stories, and food down on North First Street.  God's orchestrated stories are so beautiful and filled with "aw".    Today was no different, God left me with my mouth wide open saying, "Wow!!!" 

The line was bound to be long since it was the 5th Sunday of the month.  It is long when there are only 4 Sundays in a month....so I knew today was going to big.  In preparation Keith bar-b-cued about 600 hot dogs.  We had about 100 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that we had frozen from the West Valley High School kids.  An old friend brought by a big pan of baked beans, potato salad, and potato chips left over from their gathering the night before so I figured we would be set.  We had a big bag of Don's Donuts and a trailer packed to the top with clothes!

We had an awesome assortment of volunteers for sure today!  We had volunteers come who had not been here for about 9months come visit us and help, we had high school kids volunteering, foreign exchange students from Germany, Vietnam, and Korea (who loved it and who want to come back and help again! Yay!), there were our faithful ones who come so regularly, and even one who was homeless, but is not any more and who loves to give back!  Only God could bring together such a wonderful group of volunteers hungry to serve others!  (See, we don't have a sign up list... we trust that God will bring the people who need to be there... and there are always loving hearts who show up ready to serve. It sure grows my faith!)

There was such a huge mixture of people standing in line today.  There were some of our old favorites along with many many new faces who we have never seen.  There were young children, old people, pregnant mom's, healthy looking faces as well as sickly,  weak, under nourished meth- faces.  One of my favorite old timers lay along the wall of the near by building with his dog faithfully sitting there by him.  He had passed out with his jacket laying half covering his legs and a half finished fifth of whiskey.  I gently placed a bag of left over doughnuts next to him trying not to alarm him.  He made a couple unintelligible utterances and then lay back in his fog.  I have such a huge heart for Bill but I know that the bottle of whiskey has him shackled.

On the other hand... I heard that another favorite old timer was doing much better.  Willy was the older gentleman who was asleep inside a big hollow pipe when someone lit him on fire.  Willy wasn't able to care for his burns so ended up back in the hospital where they eventually moved him to a nursing home.  Henry, one of Willy's friends, said that Willy looks really good!  He said that Willy had a bath, that he gets 3 meals a day, and is doing really great!  Whenever he tells other people where Willy is staying, he always warns them not to bring any liquor around because Willy has not had a drink since he went in and he wants to see Willy have a chance.  The drs. at the hospital told Willy that if he hadn't come back in for treatment that he would have probably lost both of his arms.  I am so happy that Willy is not going to lose both of his arms...how could he hug me back?  :0) Please keep praying for Willy.

Our friend Amanda lives by the river with a few other friends who all take care of each other.  Amanda needs to get to Neighborhood Health this week because she is almost sure that she is pregnant.  If you could see Amanda, you would probably know she was pregnant.  I gave her my quick talk about the importance of getting pre-natal care for the baby.  We talked about special needs babies and how important pre-natal care is.  I pray that Amanda isn't drugging any more...if she is pregnant, we will have more talks about the effects of drugs on an unborn baby.  I like Amanda and her friends a lot.  They have kind hearts...being a drug addict does not mean that you have an uncaring heart... it means that something else dictates your every move...As we stood around, Amanda's two friends started sharing with me a little bit about their lives.  The only man in the group is in his late 40's.  He was standing with a lady who was his first friend when he came to Yakima back in 1979.  He was 12 years old when his mom threw him out of the house and said never come back.... yes, no kidding.... he has been on his own since he was 12 and his friend was 14 years old when she was kicked out of her house.  They have been hanging out ever since and just try to take care of each other as well as the few other friends that have joined them.  So is it a surprise that he is fathering a child that Amanda is carrying?  Not really, but it is a mystery to me how they have survived that way of life for so long.  Mr. D. as I call him, did not go on through school past 12 years of age.  He has worked on and off helping roof houses, carpentry jobs, etc. 

What God is showing me over and over is that I can not assume that every person started out with the same set of life experiences growing up as I did... du? right?  But we judge people as if they had the same roof over their head growing up as we did, the same table full of food, warm blankets, a bed, a mom and dad to kiss them good night, an education, someone to go to when school was hard or friends were mean....and we think-  "Why don't they just go get a job....stop living off of the system....get a life- we all had to."  But see, the race isn't fair-  we are running the race with legs.... and some of them are trying to stay in the race as amputees- running through life on the nubs of their amputated limbs.  I personally couldn't have made it on the streets at 12 years old.  I was still playing with dolls when I was 12... or at least dressing them and doing their hair :0).  I couldn't have found my own food, stayed warm, or figured out how to stay safe.  And if I had... I surely wouldn't have a kind hearted attitude to others like Amanda and her friends.  They care for each other and try to protect each other.  I pray that Amanda's baby is safe and that she is not doing any drugs at this time...  if she is... it only means that I have huge compassion for both she and the baby.

Linda from the river came right at the very end today wearing a short little skirt and a borrowed coat.  We had all of the boxes packed up and we were getting ready to pray.  She said, "I missed the food, but I am here for the best part!"  She joined hands with us and we all prayed a beautiful prayer of thanks for God's beautiful provision!  After we were finished, Linda whispered in my ear that she has been clean for 45 days.  She only needed a coat or sweater because the one that she had on was borrowed.  Keith looked in the back of the trailer and laying on the top of a ton of empty clothes bins were two nice warm women's jackets that were perfect for her!  I don't know how they weren't given out because we went through so many bins of clothes, but they were waiting right there for her!  God is so amazing and it was fun to share that with Linda!  I am so proud of her and happy for her that she is trying very hard to get clean. 

My friend Lucy started working at Walmart and is back with her man who would like to marry her and who has stopped drinking.  They are both seeking the Lord and seeking a life together without the things that messed them up in the past.  Praise God!!!

So as you can see there were a smorgasbord of stories, but there was also a smorgasbord of food!!! We brought about 600 hot dogs, plus the food I spoke of above, in addition to a huge roasting pan filled with chili dogs that someone brought, pans and pans of macaroni and cheese, quiche, potato dishes, spaghetti, water, chips, 20 Domino's pizzas that they donated, Don's Donuts, homemade cookies, fruit snacks, a huge cooler of homemade potato soup,  and probably more that I am missing, but you see God orchestrated all of it!  He knew that the need for food was going to be huge today and he prompted so many different people's hearts.  We don't sign up on any lists or call each other. I told a couple of the ladies that we were doing hot dogs, but everyone else brought the food on their own accord.  The Lord prompted them and they acted in beautiful obedience!  Close to the end, one of the volunteers said that we were not going to have enough hot dogs and wanted to know if I had any peanut butter or jelly in the car.  I did not have any because I didn't think we would need it.  By the time that I got over to check and see exactly how many people still needed food, the volunteers at the front of the line all looked at me with amazement and then told me how they only had one hot dog left, but when they went to move the pan, more hot dogs rolled across the juice filled pan.  I also stood in amazement as they pointed to the last man in line and said, "See, that was the last hot dog."  I wanted to jump with joy and cry at the same time!  How great is our God that He cares for each one of those homeless people-  even the ones at the end of the line--- the man at the end of the line today was looking up, talking to himself- looking quite disconnected from life-  yes, God cares for ALL people!  Even the ones who don't look like they have a purpose or a place.  At God's table, there is Always a place for EVERYONE!  Thank You Jesus for Your amazing provision!  Thank You that you never give up on us and that You Pursue ALL people!  I talked with a lot of people today who knew and were very thankful that God prepared a banquet for them! 

I have been reading in Colossians this week.  Colossians 1: 6 says, "This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world.  It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about
God's wonderful grace."  How beautiful is that?  God is changing lives.... changing the lives of the volunteers as well as the lives of our North First Street Friends.  What I see happening on North First Street... is that lives are changing... people are making changes towards improving their lives... changes in their daily decisions, changes in how they see God, and changes in how they see that God views them.  Further in Colossians 1:10 it says, "Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit.  All the while, you will grow as you lean to know God better and better."  Every day I am learning to know God better and better.... til the day I die I want to keep learning to know God better and better.  I know that many of our friends on North First Street are also getting to know God better and better.  Thank You Precious Lord for Your beautiful, gentle way that You reveal Yourself to us as we continue to trust You and lean into You!  We love You Always!!! In Jesus Holy Name-  Amen  :0)                                                                                      

I want a tender responsive heart....

God spoke through Ezekiel to the Israelites…. In Ezekiel 36: 25 God says, “Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean.  Your filth will be washed away, and you will no longer worship idols.  And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you.  I will take out your stony, stony heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.  And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.”

That is the prayer of Keith and I, “please take out our stony hearts and give us a tender, responsive heart.  And I will put my Spirit in you….”  I need God’s spirit in me.  I need His spirit to soften my heart that so quickly can harden.  I need God in order to handle what happens on North First Street every week.  Sometimes I get filled with anxiety and get so nervous before we head down.  This week I decided to try something different….I am a speech therapist and have been learning how to write “Social Stories” for kids who are on the autistic spectrum so that they can better understand social situations.  Social stories help autistic kids decrease their anxiety in given situations.  I figured…hey it couldn’t hurt to try and write one about going to North First Street to see if it helped my anxiety. What came out was as follows:

On Sundays we go down to North First Street to hand out food and clothes.  I drive down there and pull into the lot and then people rush around to ask what needs to be done.  I tell people where to put things and where to set the tables up at.  Sometimes they ask me for things or for help.  Sometimes I can give them what they want and sometimes I cannot.  When I have what they want, they are happy and hug me.  When I can’t give them what they want they walk away with a frown on their face or a sad look.  My heart feels sad when I can’t help them.  I feel like I am disappointing them, but I am only supposed to hand out clothes and food.  I give them everything that we have but sometimes it is not enough and I take on their pain.  The pain makes me feel like I want to cry and throw up and it scares me like I don’t want to be in their position.  But their position is not like a sickness that you can catch.  If I don’t have what they need, they will not hurt me.  They will just ask someone somewhere else. 

I get nervous because I get scared that someone will be mad and come and hurt me or my family.  Or that God will put me or my family in a position like they are in and I get scared of that.  I get scared that God might do something like that to me too and I don’t want that.  What I need to remember is that God loves ma ND my family as well as the people on North First Street and He did not make the things happen to them.  If I can’t help them, I need to say, “I am sorry but I don’t have that today and let God take care of the rest.”  I need to suggest to them to “Ask God to show them where they can get help.”  I need to love them without taking on their pain.  I need to trust that God has the rest taken care of.  I also need to remember that the volunteers will be just fine too.  It is up to God to teach them what He wants them to see and it is not up to me to make their experience perfect. 

Dear God, I relinquish control of the events that happen on North First Street.  I leave the people and the events solely in your hands.  I know that you have it taken care of and that I do not need to carry it on my shoulders.  Please help me to grow in this area.  Please lift the weights off of my shoulders.  In Jesus Holy Name, Amen.

After writing this Olivia and I loaded up the food and headed down to North First.  Keith had already gone down a bit earlier to set up.  Little did I know that he was having similar anxiety.  When he pulled up in the lot to set up the tables, he saw a huge line of people already gathered in the shade.  As he got out of the car, people were pulling him in all different directions, needing instruction on how to set up the tables, where to put the boxes, and numerous personal questions about their individual situations.  All Keith felt was a huge wave of desperation and chaos.  Everyone seemed so needy today and did not take instruction well, therefore he had a lot of people trying to help but actually just causing a lot of confusion.  As more volunteers arrived, Keith started to relax a little bit but not for long because as his eyes traveled back down the line, he saw the huge number of people lined up.  Keith stayed at the start of the line shaking hands with people as they received their plates.  Waves of panic kept hitting him, “what if we don’t have enough food…”   As he was reacting to the fear, he was also trying to talk it out to the ladies who were serving.  “We are not going to have enough food,” he told them, “I know that I do not have any faith right now.  Lord I am sorry that I do not have any faith but I see these hungry people and I see the food and I don’t know how you are going to do it!”  Keith continued to reason out loud saying, “I know that God has provided for almost 2 years now and I should have more faith but I don’t.”  He said that as he looked down the line he felt overwhelmed by the heaviness that people were carrying.  He felt the sorrow that so many have felt…the oppression and desperation that was thick in the air.  This went on for a bit longer until finally Keith gave up.  He threw both arms up in the air and said, “I have no faith God and I am so sorry.  I give up control and put it into your hands.”

What was interesting was that the women serving had total faith that God would provide and they kept reassuring Keith.  Shortly after, a man walked up to the table with 2 more huge pans of food.  Yes…. 2 pans of food that we were not expecting.  God has such a great sense of humor.  It wasn’t until Keith finally gave up control that God was able to make things happen and sure enough…..Willy came up to the table…. The last person in line and received the last 2 scoops of spaghetti… I am so so so thankful to God that He is the God of provision….that He is the God of all things!!!   That He carries the load and not us  (When we finally give it to him  :0)  and that He is the only true anxiety buster!!!!! 

After I wrote my “Social Story”  I received immediate comfort and peace.  After Keith gave up control and gave it to God…he also found joy and peace.  When we look to God, He gives us new tender,  responsive hearts.   God lays us out on the table and gently cuts an opening in our chests….He looks to His right and He sees Jesus laying on the other table.  He gently cuts open Jesus’ heart and transplants it into ours.  It is in this transplanted heart that we receive the ability to love more like Jesus.  The beautiful things is that this transplant is available to anyone who would like it! 

It is with this heart that I wept for Willy who was jumped by the train tracks and set on fire this last week.  Willy is about the kindest guy around.  He is always drunk but is very kind.  The people who jumped him burned his arms from just above the elbow down to his wrists.  Willy was wearing a short sleeve t-shirt and his arms were wrapped with gauze which was loose and falling down.  Dark black charred skin and huge blisters covered his elbows.  Burned flesh twist down his forearms into the wrapping of white gauze.  My stomach turned and I wanted to cry.  No one deserves torture… it broke my heart.  Some of the people by the river said that they have been terrorized over the past 2 weeks.  Someone has beat people up with a metal pipe breaking and fracturing bones, burning others.  My heart was very tender and responsive.  I have never seen anything like that before.  Please pray for Willy and for the other people who have enough on their plates without being beaten in the process. 

The homeless often take care of the homeless.  They check on each other and watch over the ones who suffer from P.T.S.D., anxiety, and depression to the point of not being able to be around other people.  They bring bandages, ointment, and hydrogen peroxide around to try and mend the wounds.  The medical care at the mission is a blessing for the people who live on the streets.   It is so easy to for me to judge as I drive by in my car, but it isn’t as simple as that.  There are so many other things that play into “homelessness”. 

 

As I was getting ready to leave, I had a great visit with a man who frequents our Sunday afternoon lunches.  He is about 6’5’’ and probably doesn’t weigh more than 170 pounds.  He shared about his experiences in Vietnam and how he was spit on and cursed at when he got back home.  A few years after returning home from the war he was in a very bad car wreck that left him with traumatic brain injuries which caused seizures.  He shared how his memory isn’t what it was before the wreck and it was obvious that his story is like many other people out there…. It is uniquely his…See every person out there has a different story and no story is the same.

God is in the process of softening my heart… of making it more tender and responsive.  God doesn’t ask me to solve the problems of North First Street.. He just asks me to show love and He will do the rest! 

 

Lord I trust you to handle the big things and the little things that worry me….I trust You to be my peace and my joy!!  In Jesus Holy Name…. Amen!  :0)

Love One Another...He was telling us...not asking us! :0)

2 John 1:6  "Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you heard from the beginning." 

Remember when your parents used to say, "I've told you so many times.....!" John is saying it in a nicer way, but he is saying the same thing. (My paraphrase--O.K. so listen up, God our Father has told us from the very beginning to love one another.  This is nothing new to any of us so let's go out there and get the job done!!! o.k. now on 3...break!!!)  Loving one another is what propels us into action.....

Love is what makes me ask each kid in line on North First Street if he has his school supplies....if he is registered for school??? Education will give these kids the tools to try and get out of their current living conditions- It is hard to be successful in school when you don't have things that your teacher requires of the other students.  My human side wants to think-  It is someone else's problem. I'm sure the teacher will find materials for this student.  Then the Lord whispers in my ear.....ask them....I will supply the resources...just ask them.  And sure enough by asking, it bring the awareness to some new parents that they need to get their kids registered for school.  It isn't just an optional kind of thing.... their kids need to be in school!  As we were handing out school supplies to kids we had adults ask for some paper and a pen or pencil....we take so many things for granted....

Love is what propelled people to donate school supplies over the last few weeks.  It propelled someone to drop by 6 huge watermelon!  Someone else was propelled to gather up baby clothes and wash them all, fold them, and drop them by.  Another person brought by 2 big boxes of granola bars to hand out in line and another was propelled to donate ice cream, yes ice cream!!  The owners of Baskin Robins gave us about 150 cups of pre-scooped ice cream to hand out.  They even let us borrow their portable freezer to serve it out of.  None of these people had to do what they did....but they did it out of love.  Love shown to people who had nothing to offer back.  Those are incredible seeds sown into the Kingdom of God!!  Those seeds do not go unnoticed...those seeds are making a difference in lives!! 

Love propelled the large number of volunteers to show up today.  It set Alicia and a few of her friends from her bible group to make the main dish this week for 150+ people on a beautiful Labor Day weekend!!  Thank you ladies!!! Love moves Megan to make yummy zucchini muffins.  People look at us sometimes like we are crazy for what we do, but to me, it makes logical sense.  Let me explain.... if I was making soup and it tasted bland.... I would add spices to make it taste better because that was what was missing.  If a child is crying because he can't find a toy, I would help him look for it because that is what is missing.  The people on North First Street are missing love....rich or poor, people need love and when it is missing- they do crazy things to make up for it.....drinking, eating, gambling, over-exercising, using drugs, sex....people use these things to hide their pain... pain usually caused by someone they loved. 

The Lord instructs us to love one another... over and over throughout His word... love one another.  God is facilitating the healing that needs to take place in all of us!  We all have hurts from a lack of love... it may be from a parent, betrayal from a friend or love, or someone who we loved more than they loved us.  God propels some to reach out in love so that he can heal the hurts in the giver....meanwhile he works on the heart of the receiver through the act of love shown.  Everyone has hurts...  Chris had to have hurts to lead her to a life of prostitution and heroine.  She recently got out out of jail and says that she only does "meth" and drinks now.....Chris has hurts that God's love needs to heal.  Sophiya is a high school girl who looked very sad today.  "How is it going?" I asked her.  "Not great," she responded as she sat down on the cement with her head in her hands.  She looked like a poster child for depression-hopelessness.  I didn't act in love-  I was busy running around getting things set up and didn't stop to ask for the rest of the story.  She ended up sharing with Keith that her family was going to be moving to Tuscaloosa, Alabama today.  She was not very happy.  In love Keith told her and her brother to do whatever they could do to get themselves to the Church of the Highlands.  He shared with them that if they could just make sure and get there...they would be able to find people who would be able to help them get on their feet.  So how did Keith know without a doubt that they could be helped here?  Because he has listened to the church's sermons on line for a couple years now and he knows that they share the same beliefs in the merciful glorious God that we serve....the same God that tells us continually to love one another.  I pray that Sophiya begins to see that a live with God blasts hopelessness out the window!!  God love covers every square inch of this world!! 

Sherrie's life certainly needs more love.  How do I know?? Because anyone who lives with a man who beats her..."but only when he gets angry"  needs some more love.  I could talk until I was blue in the face, but only God can impart the kind of love that she needs to heal all of her hurts.  On Sundays at North First Street- people are guaranteed to find roughly 2 hours of love poured all over them.  It is a time of celebration, laughter, fellow-ship, peace, and safety.  It is a couple hours of love that goes beyond us.  Love that is exponentially grown and dispersed by God! 

Some may say that it is rather "bold" to make such statements, but I can safely say that it is true...because everyone can feel it... it doesn't matter if you are volunteering or if you are receiving the help....God's healing love is radiant!  Some weeks when I head down to North First Street I am tired or distracted with my own life issues, but it never fails....once I get there....the love of Jesus sweeps through and the day is changed...my attitude is changed....my heart is changed!

We had a lot of people down here today for a first Sunday of the month.  It was more like a 2nd or 3rd Sunday.  Blessedly there was plenty of food, plenty of volunteers, and plenty of love.  God has made us so relational...we all need someone.  Lucy came by today to tell us that she got a job at Walmart this week~  Praise God and I am so glad that she wanted to come and share her good news with us.  Amanda and Dennis are always looking out for each other.  If one gets food, they always share it with the other.  They are there for each other for protection, but also for friendship.  We all need someone, we all need love. 

Today while we were driving down to North First St I saw Michelle sitting on a bench by himself in the park.  He was dressed like a girl and talking to the air.... nobody was around, but he was having a conversation with someone.....Michelle is a meth/heroine addict who is a male prostitute.  He stays with a guy who beats him, but his desire to be loved over rides his desire to be respected.  Michelle has so many hurts that he is trying to numb.  I pray that the Love of Jesus can eventually heal the vast expanse of pain that he must be in before his lifestyle kills him.

There were so many kids there today....kids who are being raised in extreme dysfunction.  We can't save people from the consequences of life...but we can choose to love not judge... we can choose to allow the Love of Jesus to propel us forward....to do things that don't have another explanation other than love.  I think that God mentions loving others so often in the bible because he knew that it would take repeating over and over in order to penetrate our selfish lives. 

Right at the end of the day on North First Street after the rigs were all packed up two different ladies came up to us.  Both apologized for being late, but wondered if we had food and water which thankfully we did. After we took care of the first lady and she left, we started helping the second lady.  She and her boyfriend had walked from the other side of town.  She was hot and sweaty and a bit out of breath.  She said, "We knew if we could just get here that you might still have some food."  They were trusting... if they could just get there....What they were counting on whether they knew it or not was that Jesus' love would cover their needs....and that is exactly what happened.  The lady had one more request.  She asked, "Could you please remember us in your prayers? We are trying to find jobs."  We did not say anything about church or about Jesus but when we act in His love....the message is transmitted.  It crosses all language barriers, age barriers, and race barriers.  Everyone...Everyone...Everyone...needs the Love of God!!!  Take time today to receive the love of Our Father and to share the love of Our Father...Your life will take on so much more joy!!!!  Have a great God filled ....love filled  Week!! :0)

It's a Peanut Butter Cookie Kind of Day

Today was a peanut butter cookie kinda day on North First Street.  Let me explain, see I have had to be gluten and dairy free for the past year and a half.  This might not be a big deal to someone who is extremely health conscious… but for me… it was extremely hard.  I have loved food my whole life and have used it as a way to treat others as well as myself.  I love to cook good food for people in hopes of bringing them some sort of happiness…. Yes I do see food as more than just nutrition for my  body.   Fortunately for my health… I have had to change to a gluten free/dairy free diet.  In doing so I also had to change my view of food.  I could no longer use it to hide hurts, anxiety, anger, frustration, tiredness…because once you take away gluten and dairy… a lot of my comfort foods disappeared with it.  This has been a wonderful thing for my health, but on days like today…I needed something.... and hot gluten free/dairy free homemade  peanut butter cookies fresh out of the oven were just the thing I needed.

Today was overwhelming for me.  I am not sure why though because I didn’t have to prepare any of the food.  It wasn’t physically exhausting, it was emotionally exhausting.  I have spent the last 6 hours trying to process the whole thing and I am not sure if I fully understand it even now.  In 1 John 2:7 it says, “Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you, rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning.  This old commandment- to love one another- is the same message you heard before.  Yet it is also new.  Jesus lived the truth of this commandment, and you also are living it.  For the darkness is disappearing, and the true light is already shining.” 

I believe this so much and North First Street is such a great example of this.  Over the past almost 2 years… I believe that the darkness has retreated some as the true light continues to shine.  Maybe I was overwhelmed by the out pouring of love that was lived out today.  Being the end of the month… the line was extremely long and people were hungry.  At this time of year the clothes are needed, but not as much as in the winter, none the less… the people are hungry year round. 

Someone asked me this past week why they are so hungry, “They have meals at the mission, so why would they be hungry?”  I agree… the mission is a huge blessing of resources for these people, but the truth is…lunch is not served on the weekends and to get breakfast, they must have spent the night at the mission the night before.  Many of the people we feed don’t sleep at the mission because they live in nearby hotel rooms, therefore their last meal would have been the night before at dinner.  And I don’t know about you… but when our house was filled with children… they didn’t just eat at the 3 meals I made every day…. They were growing and wanted food throughout the day and evening.  The people on North First are no different.  There are often 4 or 5 kids living in a hotel room with their mom, dad, or grandparents.  Often by this time of the month…they do not have much in the way of food hanging around.  Let’s just say the line was extremely long and people were just plain hungry.

The great thing is that we had plenty of food!! The Mormons have adopted us as their humanitarian project for the year and have volunteered to bring the meal on the 4^th Sunday of the month for the next year.  What a huge blessing!!  We had volunteers today from so many different churches.  There were even volunteers who did not belong to any church.  They just wanted to come and help.  I am in awe and overwhelmed with God’s love and provision!  We had abundant food, abundant volunteers, and abundant clothes!  Thank You Jesus!!! The love that was shown today is what helps push out the darkness…. The love of children, teens, young adults, parents, grandparents reached out to people on North First Street today.  That is what makes me feel emotional….we had little kids handing out apples next to their parents, teenagers asking to come help, older people willingly giving up their afternoon to extend love to our North First Street friends.  That alone brings tears to my eyes….

But there is more…maybe it was the kid like excitement that Amanda had when we gave her her very own bag of go-gurt, strawberries, 2 bananas, and a peach…Amanda is about in her mid-30’s and has no teeth because of the drugs she has abused.  She loves soft fruit and is so excited when we bring her something special.  She flashes her huge gum-filled smile and I know that the light…is pressing on the darkness.

Maybe it is the Fulsom family that stirs my emotions….they are the family who we have been helping to find furniture and dishes for their apartment.  They came down today specifically because the father wanted us to pray over his family.  They start highschool on Tuesday and he wanted prayer for all of them….. The light is pressing on the darkness.

It might be the image of David’s face in my mind as he flashed his akward smile to me in the midst of his writhing twitches and movements caused by his progressing Huntington’s disease.  David’s eyes are as blue as a clear sky in Yakima on a Summer’s Day.  David can’t get much out, but the twinkle in his eyes says it all.  He enjoys sitting against the wall after he has eaten and watches all the busyness of the day.  David sat there until the last car drove away… and as I looked back I could see David taking the longest, deepest drag on his friend’s joint….David lives on the street and often uses drugs to help ease the pain of the Huntington’s…..”Bless You” he says as he walks awkwardly away.  I believe that David sucks in the love of Jesus as he watches us run around the lot helping others.  The light continues to shine on David.

A mother and father of 5 recently got their special needs child back from Seattle.  They approached me with requests for help with school supplies and school clothes for their children.  We talked about getting preschool special education services for their child and where to access those resources.  They were so appreciative of the help being offered and I felt the burden of their hearts for their kids.  You could tell that they were trying to do the right things and get it right this time….I pray that the light of Jesus… and the love of Jesus invades their hearts and blasts out the darkness.  They have a long road ahead of them.

Chris… a prostitute/drug addict who is about my age came back today.  I haven’t seen her for months and wondered if she was still alive.  She showed up wearing a platinum blond wig which caught me off guard and made me laugh inside.  She explained how she had been hiding from the police for the last 8 months but they finally caught up to her and she ended up serving a couple weeks in jail.   Really??? 8 months of hiding for 2 weeks in jail?? Talk about living in the darkness…She said the good thing was that she is finally off black tar heroin…. “Whew I thought”….”Ya… now I am only on meth.”  I am a speech therapist and I work with special needs children.  I spend my days thinking in baby steps…. I break curriculum into little tiny steps and measure little tiny bits of progress… so in a twisted way…. Chris is making some progress…Chris gave me a huge hug and the only thing I know for sure is that she feels the love of Jesus (even after not seeing us for 8 months).  The light continues to push out the darkness in her life and Jesus continues to love her as much today as the day she was conceived.  That thought overwhelms my emotions…..and brings me to my knees…with pure humble thanksgiving and awe!

I don’t know why my emotions were on high alert today…It just felt overwhelming to see Wild Bill sitting in line with his camping chair and his trusty dog tied with a rope… Bill gave me a great big hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Next to him was the guy who was drunk and manic a few weeks before.  He shook my hand and said that he was doing much  better now…”It was a bad couple of weeks,” he said.  Two of the teenage girls have been gone for quite a few months now and we found out that they were finally removed from the home because their mom’s heavy drug use.  It is the best thing for them I would think since they were being prostituted out so their mom could supply her habit.  These things seemed to weigh my heart down today….a much heavier burden than I usually carry.  I know what to do though… I know that God is the one who needs to carry the burden and I just need to leave it at His feet.  It is only a small feeling of anguish compared to what Jesus felt on the cross when He felt the sins of the entire world come upon Him as he hung on the cross.  It was through this great act of love that we are each propelled forward to love the world around us. 

God loves us with a relentless love that never gives up!!!  He chases after each one of us as if we were each the most precious lamb in the flock.  His love is big enough to help each of the people we encounter and He only asks us to be obedient and offer what we can in the process.  I am continually amazed at the love, kindness, time, and treasures that people offer up.  And I am continually amazed at the great love that I feel coming down from God the Father….each and every day!! I don’t need peanut butter cookies or any other food to comfort me on days like today… I only need Jesus and His great gift of love!

Don't Have One Without the Other...

James 2:26....."Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works."

Out on North First Street God is showing us this on so many levels.  See when I was growing up I tried so hard to do good things and to be good to earn love and affirmation.  In retrospect, I was banking on good deeds to get me the love I needed from those around me.  Sadly :0(  this road only leads to disappointment because the "works" and "deeds" that you have are never enough.  On the other hand....in my faith I saw a lot of people with lots of professed "faith", who treated others terribly and did not have any "works" to back up the words that they professed.  It is when Faith and Works are married together that God works through his believers!

This week there have been so many of our homeless friends who have chosen to step out in faith and step into change.  Brenda has chosen to leave Yakima for a nearby town to get some distance away form the life style that only leads to death.  She asked her boy friend to go with her and he declined.  As hard as it is to leave without him, she has chosen to trust God and move away so that she can have a better life.  This is a huge leap of faith for this woman.  She knows that the life style that she is living in is not what God wants for her.  I am so proud of Brenda!  It is a huge scary step for her, but she is taking a chance on God! 

Les from North Dakota called again this week to update us on his new job.  He was so excited!  He has a 9 month contract with the John Deere Company to work on the assembly line.  He took a huge leap of faith when he bought his one way ticket to North Dakota.  His faith married his actions and God met him right at the junction where the 2 came together.  He never leaves us or forsakes us!!

Lucy, a woman who has been seeking God got a call from Walmart last week!  She may have work for the winter!! When we actively step out to meet God.... He draws near to us!!! Lucy's faith met her works....she stepped out and applied for the job... and God met her there!  It is so encouraging to me!

Lester (different from North Dakota Les) shared in our prayer circle today that he starts his new job tomorrow.  Lester has been searching for a job for 7 weeks.  He professes his love for Jesus and has united his faith in the Lord with his active job search....right where God met him! 

Today was such a great day of joyful stories!  I made a ton of tator tot casserole for today.  I spent the morning listening to preaching on-line as I cooked and prepared for the day.  In faith I made the number of pans of food that the Lord seemed to be indicating.  As the food line continued to move along, I grew fearful that we wouldn't have enough food.  It was only the 3rd week of the month, but we seemed to have an unusually large amount of people today.  I prayed that the Lord would stretch our food to the very last person....My faith joined my works and God met us right where they crossed...yes there was just enough food!  We did not have to turn anybody down.  Things like that grow my faith exponentially.

After returning home from serving on North First Street today, three wonderful young adults stopped by our house to talk about their experiences today on North First.  They had served with us side by side and wanted to "de-brief" afterwards.  What happened next ministered more to our hearts than theirs I think because their stories seemed to represent the whole idea of faith with works equals life!
The girls are walking testimonies even if they don't fully yet know it.  They have overcome huge obstacles in their lives that most kids don't have to deal with while maintaining an incredible trust in God.  They serve the Lord throughout their weeks and are an inspiration to me.  It is the young man's story that seemed to move me so much today. 

You see... this young man has overcome the life that we see every week on North First Street.  He has overcome a prostitute, drug addicted mother as well as incredible neglect and abuse.  From birth until age 10 Pablo was raised on the streets of Yakima by his mom who was a prostitute and huge drug addict.  He and his 3 siblings were beaten regularly and neglected most of the time.  Pablo said that he generally got about 3-4 meals a week and often went a few days without food.  I personally have never gone a full day without food... never.  Pablo shared that you just get used to the hunger pains.  Summers were the hardest because he didn't have the school to feed him.  At least during the school year he could count on breakfast and lunch.  After a long time of mal-nutrition, Pablo said that it was hard to eat certain foods because his body would get sick and reject it.   Pablo's mom would use her food stamps to buy food and then would sell it for drugs.  If the kids got clothes from the mission, she would sell them. 

Pablo had to repeat first grade because the first time around he missed too much school.  His mom would beat him us so badly that he couldn't go out of the house.  Needless to say,  he had to repeat first grade.  Pablo said that he was so afraid of his mom.  He was scared to say anything to anyone because he believed that his mom would kill him.  "I believed that my mom owned me and that she could do whatever she wanted with me."  Pablo's mom frequently told him that he was worthless and that she was the best mom that he would ever get.  She often would beat he and his siblings so badly and then would take them to the hospital.  Pain meds were prescribed and then she would use the pain pills. 

Keith and I had so many questions.  We asked him when the point was that he decided that he didn't want that for his life?  He said that he was 7 or 8 and decided he didn't ever want to do the things that his mom did because he didn't want to be like her.  Throughout a 2 year period of time (when Pablo was 8-10 years old) Pablo's older brother started to try and get the kids removed from the home.  during this time there was a lot of talk about the mom selling the kids into the sex slave world.  Pablo's older brother had left the home and wanted desperately to get his siblings out of there before they were gone forever.  Finally when Pablo was 10 years old, his brother successfully convinced CPS to get the kids out of the home.  Pablo was called down to the office at school and was put into foster care.  From that day on... Pablo never went back to their home again.  This was a blessing for the kids because of the families who they were placed with. 

You would never know by looking at this young man the hell that he has lived through.  He is a happy upbeat high school guy who has such a love for Jesus!  He actively seeks opportunities where he can serve others and does not seem to have any bitterness or anger.  Of course we had to ask why and what made him want to try Jesus?  Pablo's answer was so wonderful... he said that he could see how God put certain people in his life at different times... people whose faith-----had met their works---and he experienced the love of God through them.  He said that as a ten year old, he could see that all the people who had helped him in his life had one thing in common.... the love of Jesus!!! Isn't that so amazing???? A ten year old could see that there were people who reached out to him and his siblings to help... and they did it in the love of Jesus! 

Pablo loves Jesus and Pablo knows how real Jesus is.  The other two young women we were talking to have lives that mirror Pablo's story in that they have gone through some really rotten things... but they continue to be walking a life where their faith meets their actions.... they have not given up on God... they have not buried themselves in bitterness or self-pity... but instead have chosen to seek the life that Jesus has for them...today, and tomorrow, and the next day.  Their faith married to their actions are an inspiration to me!  They are under 20 and they get it better than a lot of people 3 times their age.  People... we need to step out... we need to reach out to those in need... to those people who are hurting emotionally as well as physically.  Just think what would have happened to Pablo if people hadn't reached out to him throughout his life.  He said that he remembers people handing out food like we do.  Sometimes it was the much needed meal that filled his stomach because his own mom was too messed up to care for him.  People ask us..."Don't you think that you are enabling them?"  Jesus instructed us to clothe and feed the poor, so we do.  Who knows what "Pablo's" were standing in line today.  Who knows what "hope" we were able to give someone today. 

Jesus continues to stretch me...to stretch my mind (I can't wrap my head completely around neglect and abuse)...he continues to stretch my heart around loving others... around "love not judge"...and he continues to stretch my faith around his incredible love, provision, healing, reconciling, all encompassing ways.  Father God I thank You for always being enough, for never giving up, and for continuing to pour into all of us on North First Street.  It really doesn't matter which side of the line you are on... God is pressing us to match our faith with our actions.  As you go about your week... take a step closer in the direction God is moving you.  It is always worth the risk!!!  Pablo said, "The worst thing you can do in your faith is to do nothing."  I think Pablo got it right!  :0)

Faith, Hope, and Love!!!

In 1 Thessalonians 1:2  Paul writes a letter to fellow believers in Thessalonica.  His words were encouraging both then and now.  He wrote, "We always thank God for all of you and pray for you constantly.  As we pray to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and the enduring hope you have because of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Last night a friend was sharing this scripture with us and it seemed so fitting for today on North First Street.  The man shared how faith refers to looking back at what Jesus has done for us in the past and how our faith grows because of what we have witnessed.  Love takes place in the present... in the now.  Love is what we do now to effect other people, and hope deals with what will come in the future.  Hope inspires endurance and never gives up!  You see it is all three of these concepts that bring us to North First Street every Sunday afternoon at 2:00. 

It is in faith that we step out in every week.... Faith that our Lord God has been there for us... He has delivered us from some very dark places in the past therefor He can deliver others... It is faith building to get a phone call like we got this week.  Les is a 50 something year old man who lived at the mission and who would help us set up each week.  This last week Les called Keith from North Dakota to share with us how God has gotten him a job.  We hadn't seen Les for a couple weeks and we wondered what had happened to him.  Les called to apologize for selling his scooter that Keith had given to him... he sold it so that he and his friend could buy bus tickets to North Dakota. They were following a tip that they had received about a job opportunity.  Within 26 hours of getting to North Dakota, Les had landed a job with John Deere.  He was so excited to share what the Lord was doing in his life!!  He signed a contract for a 9 month trial work period with an option to continue longer after that.  It was so neat to hear what the Lord had done.  See every time we see or hear what the Lord has done... our faith muscle grows stronger!

Another man shared with me today that he finished his program at YVCC and he graduated from his program!!We were so excited for him and it was so fun to celebrate what wonderful things the Lord has done.  Doors are opening in so many areas of this man's life....

It is in looking back at what the Lord has done that helps build our faith.... and it is in sharing these stories with others who are working through life's "stuff" that helps encourage them!  We have been helping 2 high school students and their brothers, collecting school supplies and trying to help them work through the "bumps" that could de-rail them along the way.  The girls were so encouraged by our stories of  Lord's faithfulness.  I believe that it is faith that moves in our hearts and causes us to spend our Sunday's on North First Street, but it is also something else... and that is Love.

Love happens in the present... in the now.  Paul speaks of "loving deeds".  See, love is what compels us to bar-b-que 500 hot dogs, to sit down and listen to someone pour out their heart, to do the things that sometimes don't make sense to others.  Parents do this all of the time.... they do many crazy, hard, time consuming things for their children... out of love.  God's so cool though because only God could put it in your heart to do crazy time consuming out of the way things for people that you don't really even know.  We don't really know know the people we serve on North First Street.  We know as much as they are willing to share with us, but we don't really know them.  God is the one who puts love in our hearts for people, for humanity, for the hurting, and the lost.  And it is from this place of love that loving deeds pour.  It is those deeds that are done not for ourselves, but others that show God's love.  God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son!!

And finally Paul speaks of hope... enduring hope.  Hope inspires endurance.  It is the hope in what is to come that gives us the endurance to keep on...keeping on......that keeps us reaching out...handing out....showing the world... the love of Christ.  Everyone of us have endless opportunities to show the love of God throughout our lives.  It may be in the line at the grocery store, at the bus stop, at work, or at home... we have  opportunities to speak of the love that God offers.  We believe God's promises and we remain filled with hope for people to grasp the love of God. 

Luke 1:37 says, "For nothing is impossible with God."  Wow! It couldn't be more clear than that...Nothing... not anything is impossible with God which means that ALL THINGS are POSSIBLE with God!  All things.... prostitutes, drug addicts, and alcoholics can find strength and freedom from their addictions with God!  Emotional and Physical abuse can be healed through the love of God!  Poverty can be escaped through faith, hope, and love!

This last week I was watching a movie where a priest told a young woman, "Poverty is not just an absence of food, money and clothes.  It is never feeling what it is to be respected or valued as a person."  One thing I do know is that besides handing out food and clothes, we are able to love and respect the people who come through the line.  God has given us the honor of handing out the Love of Jesus as well as dignity and respect despite what they look like or what they have done. 

It was fun today to celebrate with the people in line when we shared with them that Les had found a job in North Dakota.  We gave God the glory as well as a huge shout of praise.  Last week we honored Julie's death by recognizing her passing with the North First Street friends before we started the food line.  Her friends were given 7 balloons to release up into the air in honor of her passing.  Keith shared that Jesus is available to them 7 days a week.... nothing can separate us from the love of God!  The last 2 weeks we have celebrated as well as mourned as a community...As a community of believers and non-believers.... all of which need the love of God!!

Today as Keith stood at the start of the line, he could take it all in.  He could hear the laughing and joking of the volunteers with the homeless.  He could see the love and smiles exchanged..... It's all Jesus!  It is only Jesus that could bring us all together and only Jesus that could sustain us.  2 Corinthians 4:7  "We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.  This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves."

Praise God from whom all good things come!!! Praise His Glorious Name!!! Only Jesus can transform our hearts....only Jesus can transform our minds... only Jesus can transform our lives.  I pray that we all release our lives daily to Jesus.... to be used as He sees fit for the Glory of our God and Father!  It is through the day by day listening to the Holy Spirit that the transformation is propelled!  Thank You Jesus for allowing me to be a clay pot... complete with cracks and punctures... You meet me where my cracked pot ends and You fill in where my offering comes up short.  Thank You for always being enough!!!  In Jesus Holy Name... Amen :0)

"Whether You Eat or Drink...."

1 Corinthians 10:31  "Whether we eat or drink, or whatever you do....do it all to the Glory of God!"

It is almost 9:00 and I am just sitting down.  I feel hot, sweaty, stinky, and tired.... I feel "fussy" like I want to cry.  I don't know why I always react that way when I am really tired, but I revert to a 3 year old that is long overdue for a nap!  I bet the disciples felt that way at times...I am never tired of serving the Lord.... I am just physically and mentally "tired" but let me back up to the start.

This morning we got a call that we could not go to the Mission to set up our tables and canopies like we usually do because there was a big semi- in the spot that we usually set up.  They thought it would be out of there by 12:30.  We loaded the trailer and rigs with the clothes, tables, canopies, toiletries, water, etc.  that normally go down and we headed down early so that we could set up.  Blessedly we did not have to worry about the food though because it was the weekend that the Mormon church was supplying all of the food.  On the way down to  North First we received another phone call saying that the semi was still there and that we wouldn't be able to set up our tables.  There is no way that God was going to allow that detail to de-rail our efforts.  We told the guy that called Keith that we would just set up in the lot next to the mission like the good old days.  Needless to say... we prayed fervently that the Lord would help work out the details because this was the biggest weekend of the month.....  

By the time we pulled up to the empty dirt lot a long line of people had already formed from the road out to the middle of the lot anticipating the set up of tables and food.  "Whether you eat or drink... do it all to the glory of God!"   No one said that ministry is nice and neat.... no sometimes it is totally relying on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and being flexible enough to re-organize about 25 volunteers, their cars, tables, food, and a massive number of homeless people into an organized event that flows with order and efficiency in a timely manner so that the people who have been waiting out in the hot sun don't pass out from the heat.  There are a lot of fragile people out there whose health is very compromised.  Life of addiction and poverty is very hard on a person's body as well as their spirit. 

But... "Whether you eat or drink... do it all to the glory of God!" The Lord has helped me learn to step under my husband's lead during times like this.  Can I whip out a line of orders and get people moving??? Absolutely... but there needs to be only One Chief...so we promptly took Keith's lead and set up as quickly as possible.  As we were setting up I realized that we were not going to have even close to enough cups and it was way too hot to not have drinks ready to go so I quickly took off to the local Fred Meyer to grab cups and the back pack that I had been promising a man.  (Yes, my disorganization helped increase the intensity of the day a bit).  It was probably good that I left because I had time to just pray... pray for the volunteers, pray for the homeless people, pray for Keith who was re-directing a lot of people in a little amount of time.  I just prayed....

When I look back at the day I can see how we prayed before, during, and after our 90 minutes of organized chaos. Jesus was there walking amongst the least of these....He worked through all of us.  Sure there were complaints from the volunteers about the thousands of goat heads, the heat, and the huge number of people but that is such a small price to pay for the beautiful things that happen during the 90 minutes.  The line of people did not end for about 75-90 minutes.  It was solid....that means that lots of tummy's were filled.  There were jeans and clean shirts distributed as well as lots of love. 

One particular family lives across the street in the Sunshine Motel.  There is a mom, dad, and three children ages 8 to 17.  The kids are set up to go to high school, middle school, and elementary in the fall.  The mom was so thankful that her kids had food in their bellies.  This family has come on Sundays for over a year.  They were usually hard, emotionless, and closed.  Over the past month, they have softened and softened with Keith.  Today he was able to share with them how Jesus has changed his life.  "It's all about Jesus..." Keith explained.  By meeting their physical needs, Keith was able to be in a position of encouragement and ministry.  He told the 17 year old girl that she would finish high school and he asked her about college.  He continued to encourage her that by going to YVCC or any college that she would be able to get out of poverty and have a future.  He went on to tell her that someday she would have kids and would bring them down to North First Street to show them where she came from.... how the Lord met their needs right where they were at.... and how He helped them work their way out.  The mother took off her sunglasses and wiped the tears from her eyes.  She hugged Keith and just as she let go.... the 17 year old girl who was the hardest and most closed of them all... leaned over and gave him a safe side hug.  She had a smile on her face and tears in her eyes... obviously hurt and damaged in the past.... making it huge step after a year.... to flash a small smile and reach out in a small (but huge) demonstration of thanks.

"Whether you eat or drink... do it all to the glory of God!!"  Every week whether a heavy load or a light load... we do it all to the glory of God!!  For some reason being out in the empty dirt lot made things look different.... out in the open you could see the whole line of people standing patiently holding their grocery sack ready for a homemade lunch.  You could see the depravity.... the need....the poverty.... the struggling.  It just seemed to stand out more in the field than it did in the parking lot of the mission.  But you know what??? God showed us once again that He is big enough for all of it.  He can handle the numbers, the needs, the pains, the change of plans, the varied personalities... he can handle it all!  And you know what??? He did.... the last scoop of food went to the last few people.  We had so so much wonderful food, but as the line continued to flow... so the food most rapidly did go!!! (Yes, I do like Dr. Seuss :0)  I do have my own issues lol! )  

Enough food.... enough clothes... enough volunteers, and enough grace that hopefully our volunteers will understand that the goat heads that they are probably still digging out of their shoes... is just a small cost of serving Jesus!!! "Whether you eat or drink.... or pick goat heads... do it all to the glory of the Lord!!!"  But fear not!  It is worth it!!!

Kaecey spoke with one of our older women who comes down to North First.  Kaecey asked how her week has been.  She replied..."It's a living hell."  but because we are "church people" in her eyes she quickly said, "No not hell."  Kaecey was awesome... she told her that it is totally o.k. Sometimes life on earth feels like hell.  Life is not easy.  This particular woman has a couple sons in their early 20's.  She had to kick them out of her apartment because they wanted to pimp her out.  They wanted to prostitute their own mother so that they could buy their drugs.  They were not happy with her and ended up selling a lot of her things.  As a young girl, she was raped by her father.  This woman has definitely experienced a life that is not easy however, she told her Pastor "I put my sons on the Internet."  "You mean on a prayer chain?" he asked.  "Yes!"  She told Kaecey, "I know that it will be o.k. because I have a heavenly father.  Will you pray for me?"  Jesus is big enough for all of it!!! Jesus is big enough for our smallest problems all the way up to the largest problems that we could ever imagine!!

Towards the end of the day, a lady drove up with a pan of food and said, "I'm sorry I'm late!  I didn't get it here on time."  One of our volunteers said, "No you are right on time!"  because that last pan of food fed the last people in line.  We have all been in that same position where we thought "I'm too late..."  What if she wouldn't have brought it?  If the Lord is prompting you to do something... do it!  It won't be too late!!!

My last story is just a reflection on my part... a time to process what I can't quite get my mind around.  The lady that I wrote about last week who passed away.... doesn't have a last name that anyone knows so she is at the morgue listed as a "Jane Doe".  She was in her early 50's and had one very good friend "Larry" who misses her very much.  He said that he misses her so much and finds himself looking for her hoping that it had been just a bad dream.  The problem is... it wasn't.  She had severe mental illness and severe drinking problem.  She had a problem with her esophagus caused by the alcohol and probably drugs that she abused.  Over a three day period of time, she bled internally, and died.  We used to drive by her and wave... she wore a size 8 shoe.  Julie always was very appreciative of the things we gave her.... but she died.  God knows that she wasn't a "Jane Doe" because God knows every person.  He knew us before we were formed in our mother's womb....He knows the end of the story... but He has given us each a choice.  He didn't make Julie drink herself to death....she chose that for whatever reason... but His word says that He does not leave us or forsake us.  He loves us......whether drunk or sober... whether addicted to things we can see or addicted to things we can't see, whether rich or poor, clean or dirty, convicted or free, perfect or far from it... He loves us!!!

As long as I live... I hope that I continue to profess the incredible love of Jesus and I pray that I walk it out also.  There is a song that says,  "Was I Jesus to the least of these?"  I pray that the answer is yes!  We all bleed the same......we are not so different.  I pray tonight for Julie as well as for all of the homeless, the volunteers, and for humanity!  "Whether you eat or drink... do it all to the glory of God!"