It's a Peanut Butter Cookie Kind of Day

Today was a peanut butter cookie kinda day on North First Street.  Let me explain, see I have had to be gluten and dairy free for the past year and a half.  This might not be a big deal to someone who is extremely health conscious… but for me… it was extremely hard.  I have loved food my whole life and have used it as a way to treat others as well as myself.  I love to cook good food for people in hopes of bringing them some sort of happiness…. Yes I do see food as more than just nutrition for my  body.   Fortunately for my health… I have had to change to a gluten free/dairy free diet.  In doing so I also had to change my view of food.  I could no longer use it to hide hurts, anxiety, anger, frustration, tiredness…because once you take away gluten and dairy… a lot of my comfort foods disappeared with it.  This has been a wonderful thing for my health, but on days like today…I needed something.... and hot gluten free/dairy free homemade  peanut butter cookies fresh out of the oven were just the thing I needed.

Today was overwhelming for me.  I am not sure why though because I didn’t have to prepare any of the food.  It wasn’t physically exhausting, it was emotionally exhausting.  I have spent the last 6 hours trying to process the whole thing and I am not sure if I fully understand it even now.  In 1 John 2:7 it says, “Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you, rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning.  This old commandment- to love one another- is the same message you heard before.  Yet it is also new.  Jesus lived the truth of this commandment, and you also are living it.  For the darkness is disappearing, and the true light is already shining.” 

I believe this so much and North First Street is such a great example of this.  Over the past almost 2 years… I believe that the darkness has retreated some as the true light continues to shine.  Maybe I was overwhelmed by the out pouring of love that was lived out today.  Being the end of the month… the line was extremely long and people were hungry.  At this time of year the clothes are needed, but not as much as in the winter, none the less… the people are hungry year round. 

Someone asked me this past week why they are so hungry, “They have meals at the mission, so why would they be hungry?”  I agree… the mission is a huge blessing of resources for these people, but the truth is…lunch is not served on the weekends and to get breakfast, they must have spent the night at the mission the night before.  Many of the people we feed don’t sleep at the mission because they live in nearby hotel rooms, therefore their last meal would have been the night before at dinner.  And I don’t know about you… but when our house was filled with children… they didn’t just eat at the 3 meals I made every day…. They were growing and wanted food throughout the day and evening.  The people on North First are no different.  There are often 4 or 5 kids living in a hotel room with their mom, dad, or grandparents.  Often by this time of the month…they do not have much in the way of food hanging around.  Let’s just say the line was extremely long and people were just plain hungry.

The great thing is that we had plenty of food!! The Mormons have adopted us as their humanitarian project for the year and have volunteered to bring the meal on the 4^th Sunday of the month for the next year.  What a huge blessing!!  We had volunteers today from so many different churches.  There were even volunteers who did not belong to any church.  They just wanted to come and help.  I am in awe and overwhelmed with God’s love and provision!  We had abundant food, abundant volunteers, and abundant clothes!  Thank You Jesus!!! The love that was shown today is what helps push out the darkness…. The love of children, teens, young adults, parents, grandparents reached out to people on North First Street today.  That is what makes me feel emotional….we had little kids handing out apples next to their parents, teenagers asking to come help, older people willingly giving up their afternoon to extend love to our North First Street friends.  That alone brings tears to my eyes….

But there is more…maybe it was the kid like excitement that Amanda had when we gave her her very own bag of go-gurt, strawberries, 2 bananas, and a peach…Amanda is about in her mid-30’s and has no teeth because of the drugs she has abused.  She loves soft fruit and is so excited when we bring her something special.  She flashes her huge gum-filled smile and I know that the light…is pressing on the darkness.

Maybe it is the Fulsom family that stirs my emotions….they are the family who we have been helping to find furniture and dishes for their apartment.  They came down today specifically because the father wanted us to pray over his family.  They start highschool on Tuesday and he wanted prayer for all of them….. The light is pressing on the darkness.

It might be the image of David’s face in my mind as he flashed his akward smile to me in the midst of his writhing twitches and movements caused by his progressing Huntington’s disease.  David’s eyes are as blue as a clear sky in Yakima on a Summer’s Day.  David can’t get much out, but the twinkle in his eyes says it all.  He enjoys sitting against the wall after he has eaten and watches all the busyness of the day.  David sat there until the last car drove away… and as I looked back I could see David taking the longest, deepest drag on his friend’s joint….David lives on the street and often uses drugs to help ease the pain of the Huntington’s…..”Bless You” he says as he walks awkwardly away.  I believe that David sucks in the love of Jesus as he watches us run around the lot helping others.  The light continues to shine on David.

A mother and father of 5 recently got their special needs child back from Seattle.  They approached me with requests for help with school supplies and school clothes for their children.  We talked about getting preschool special education services for their child and where to access those resources.  They were so appreciative of the help being offered and I felt the burden of their hearts for their kids.  You could tell that they were trying to do the right things and get it right this time….I pray that the light of Jesus… and the love of Jesus invades their hearts and blasts out the darkness.  They have a long road ahead of them.

Chris… a prostitute/drug addict who is about my age came back today.  I haven’t seen her for months and wondered if she was still alive.  She showed up wearing a platinum blond wig which caught me off guard and made me laugh inside.  She explained how she had been hiding from the police for the last 8 months but they finally caught up to her and she ended up serving a couple weeks in jail.   Really??? 8 months of hiding for 2 weeks in jail?? Talk about living in the darkness…She said the good thing was that she is finally off black tar heroin…. “Whew I thought”….”Ya… now I am only on meth.”  I am a speech therapist and I work with special needs children.  I spend my days thinking in baby steps…. I break curriculum into little tiny steps and measure little tiny bits of progress… so in a twisted way…. Chris is making some progress…Chris gave me a huge hug and the only thing I know for sure is that she feels the love of Jesus (even after not seeing us for 8 months).  The light continues to push out the darkness in her life and Jesus continues to love her as much today as the day she was conceived.  That thought overwhelms my emotions…..and brings me to my knees…with pure humble thanksgiving and awe!

I don’t know why my emotions were on high alert today…It just felt overwhelming to see Wild Bill sitting in line with his camping chair and his trusty dog tied with a rope… Bill gave me a great big hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Next to him was the guy who was drunk and manic a few weeks before.  He shook my hand and said that he was doing much  better now…”It was a bad couple of weeks,” he said.  Two of the teenage girls have been gone for quite a few months now and we found out that they were finally removed from the home because their mom’s heavy drug use.  It is the best thing for them I would think since they were being prostituted out so their mom could supply her habit.  These things seemed to weigh my heart down today….a much heavier burden than I usually carry.  I know what to do though… I know that God is the one who needs to carry the burden and I just need to leave it at His feet.  It is only a small feeling of anguish compared to what Jesus felt on the cross when He felt the sins of the entire world come upon Him as he hung on the cross.  It was through this great act of love that we are each propelled forward to love the world around us. 

God loves us with a relentless love that never gives up!!!  He chases after each one of us as if we were each the most precious lamb in the flock.  His love is big enough to help each of the people we encounter and He only asks us to be obedient and offer what we can in the process.  I am continually amazed at the love, kindness, time, and treasures that people offer up.  And I am continually amazed at the great love that I feel coming down from God the Father….each and every day!! I don’t need peanut butter cookies or any other food to comfort me on days like today… I only need Jesus and His great gift of love!

Don't Have One Without the Other...

James 2:26....."Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works."

Out on North First Street God is showing us this on so many levels.  See when I was growing up I tried so hard to do good things and to be good to earn love and affirmation.  In retrospect, I was banking on good deeds to get me the love I needed from those around me.  Sadly :0(  this road only leads to disappointment because the "works" and "deeds" that you have are never enough.  On the other hand....in my faith I saw a lot of people with lots of professed "faith", who treated others terribly and did not have any "works" to back up the words that they professed.  It is when Faith and Works are married together that God works through his believers!

This week there have been so many of our homeless friends who have chosen to step out in faith and step into change.  Brenda has chosen to leave Yakima for a nearby town to get some distance away form the life style that only leads to death.  She asked her boy friend to go with her and he declined.  As hard as it is to leave without him, she has chosen to trust God and move away so that she can have a better life.  This is a huge leap of faith for this woman.  She knows that the life style that she is living in is not what God wants for her.  I am so proud of Brenda!  It is a huge scary step for her, but she is taking a chance on God! 

Les from North Dakota called again this week to update us on his new job.  He was so excited!  He has a 9 month contract with the John Deere Company to work on the assembly line.  He took a huge leap of faith when he bought his one way ticket to North Dakota.  His faith married his actions and God met him right at the junction where the 2 came together.  He never leaves us or forsakes us!!

Lucy, a woman who has been seeking God got a call from Walmart last week!  She may have work for the winter!! When we actively step out to meet God.... He draws near to us!!! Lucy's faith met her works....she stepped out and applied for the job... and God met her there!  It is so encouraging to me!

Lester (different from North Dakota Les) shared in our prayer circle today that he starts his new job tomorrow.  Lester has been searching for a job for 7 weeks.  He professes his love for Jesus and has united his faith in the Lord with his active job search....right where God met him! 

Today was such a great day of joyful stories!  I made a ton of tator tot casserole for today.  I spent the morning listening to preaching on-line as I cooked and prepared for the day.  In faith I made the number of pans of food that the Lord seemed to be indicating.  As the food line continued to move along, I grew fearful that we wouldn't have enough food.  It was only the 3rd week of the month, but we seemed to have an unusually large amount of people today.  I prayed that the Lord would stretch our food to the very last person....My faith joined my works and God met us right where they crossed...yes there was just enough food!  We did not have to turn anybody down.  Things like that grow my faith exponentially.

After returning home from serving on North First Street today, three wonderful young adults stopped by our house to talk about their experiences today on North First.  They had served with us side by side and wanted to "de-brief" afterwards.  What happened next ministered more to our hearts than theirs I think because their stories seemed to represent the whole idea of faith with works equals life!
The girls are walking testimonies even if they don't fully yet know it.  They have overcome huge obstacles in their lives that most kids don't have to deal with while maintaining an incredible trust in God.  They serve the Lord throughout their weeks and are an inspiration to me.  It is the young man's story that seemed to move me so much today. 

You see... this young man has overcome the life that we see every week on North First Street.  He has overcome a prostitute, drug addicted mother as well as incredible neglect and abuse.  From birth until age 10 Pablo was raised on the streets of Yakima by his mom who was a prostitute and huge drug addict.  He and his 3 siblings were beaten regularly and neglected most of the time.  Pablo said that he generally got about 3-4 meals a week and often went a few days without food.  I personally have never gone a full day without food... never.  Pablo shared that you just get used to the hunger pains.  Summers were the hardest because he didn't have the school to feed him.  At least during the school year he could count on breakfast and lunch.  After a long time of mal-nutrition, Pablo said that it was hard to eat certain foods because his body would get sick and reject it.   Pablo's mom would use her food stamps to buy food and then would sell it for drugs.  If the kids got clothes from the mission, she would sell them. 

Pablo had to repeat first grade because the first time around he missed too much school.  His mom would beat him us so badly that he couldn't go out of the house.  Needless to say,  he had to repeat first grade.  Pablo said that he was so afraid of his mom.  He was scared to say anything to anyone because he believed that his mom would kill him.  "I believed that my mom owned me and that she could do whatever she wanted with me."  Pablo's mom frequently told him that he was worthless and that she was the best mom that he would ever get.  She often would beat he and his siblings so badly and then would take them to the hospital.  Pain meds were prescribed and then she would use the pain pills. 

Keith and I had so many questions.  We asked him when the point was that he decided that he didn't want that for his life?  He said that he was 7 or 8 and decided he didn't ever want to do the things that his mom did because he didn't want to be like her.  Throughout a 2 year period of time (when Pablo was 8-10 years old) Pablo's older brother started to try and get the kids removed from the home.  during this time there was a lot of talk about the mom selling the kids into the sex slave world.  Pablo's older brother had left the home and wanted desperately to get his siblings out of there before they were gone forever.  Finally when Pablo was 10 years old, his brother successfully convinced CPS to get the kids out of the home.  Pablo was called down to the office at school and was put into foster care.  From that day on... Pablo never went back to their home again.  This was a blessing for the kids because of the families who they were placed with. 

You would never know by looking at this young man the hell that he has lived through.  He is a happy upbeat high school guy who has such a love for Jesus!  He actively seeks opportunities where he can serve others and does not seem to have any bitterness or anger.  Of course we had to ask why and what made him want to try Jesus?  Pablo's answer was so wonderful... he said that he could see how God put certain people in his life at different times... people whose faith-----had met their works---and he experienced the love of God through them.  He said that as a ten year old, he could see that all the people who had helped him in his life had one thing in common.... the love of Jesus!!! Isn't that so amazing???? A ten year old could see that there were people who reached out to him and his siblings to help... and they did it in the love of Jesus! 

Pablo loves Jesus and Pablo knows how real Jesus is.  The other two young women we were talking to have lives that mirror Pablo's story in that they have gone through some really rotten things... but they continue to be walking a life where their faith meets their actions.... they have not given up on God... they have not buried themselves in bitterness or self-pity... but instead have chosen to seek the life that Jesus has for them...today, and tomorrow, and the next day.  Their faith married to their actions are an inspiration to me!  They are under 20 and they get it better than a lot of people 3 times their age.  People... we need to step out... we need to reach out to those in need... to those people who are hurting emotionally as well as physically.  Just think what would have happened to Pablo if people hadn't reached out to him throughout his life.  He said that he remembers people handing out food like we do.  Sometimes it was the much needed meal that filled his stomach because his own mom was too messed up to care for him.  People ask us..."Don't you think that you are enabling them?"  Jesus instructed us to clothe and feed the poor, so we do.  Who knows what "Pablo's" were standing in line today.  Who knows what "hope" we were able to give someone today. 

Jesus continues to stretch me...to stretch my mind (I can't wrap my head completely around neglect and abuse)...he continues to stretch my heart around loving others... around "love not judge"...and he continues to stretch my faith around his incredible love, provision, healing, reconciling, all encompassing ways.  Father God I thank You for always being enough, for never giving up, and for continuing to pour into all of us on North First Street.  It really doesn't matter which side of the line you are on... God is pressing us to match our faith with our actions.  As you go about your week... take a step closer in the direction God is moving you.  It is always worth the risk!!!  Pablo said, "The worst thing you can do in your faith is to do nothing."  I think Pablo got it right!  :0)

Faith, Hope, and Love!!!

In 1 Thessalonians 1:2  Paul writes a letter to fellow believers in Thessalonica.  His words were encouraging both then and now.  He wrote, "We always thank God for all of you and pray for you constantly.  As we pray to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and the enduring hope you have because of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Last night a friend was sharing this scripture with us and it seemed so fitting for today on North First Street.  The man shared how faith refers to looking back at what Jesus has done for us in the past and how our faith grows because of what we have witnessed.  Love takes place in the present... in the now.  Love is what we do now to effect other people, and hope deals with what will come in the future.  Hope inspires endurance and never gives up!  You see it is all three of these concepts that bring us to North First Street every Sunday afternoon at 2:00. 

It is in faith that we step out in every week.... Faith that our Lord God has been there for us... He has delivered us from some very dark places in the past therefor He can deliver others... It is faith building to get a phone call like we got this week.  Les is a 50 something year old man who lived at the mission and who would help us set up each week.  This last week Les called Keith from North Dakota to share with us how God has gotten him a job.  We hadn't seen Les for a couple weeks and we wondered what had happened to him.  Les called to apologize for selling his scooter that Keith had given to him... he sold it so that he and his friend could buy bus tickets to North Dakota. They were following a tip that they had received about a job opportunity.  Within 26 hours of getting to North Dakota, Les had landed a job with John Deere.  He was so excited to share what the Lord was doing in his life!!  He signed a contract for a 9 month trial work period with an option to continue longer after that.  It was so neat to hear what the Lord had done.  See every time we see or hear what the Lord has done... our faith muscle grows stronger!

Another man shared with me today that he finished his program at YVCC and he graduated from his program!!We were so excited for him and it was so fun to celebrate what wonderful things the Lord has done.  Doors are opening in so many areas of this man's life....

It is in looking back at what the Lord has done that helps build our faith.... and it is in sharing these stories with others who are working through life's "stuff" that helps encourage them!  We have been helping 2 high school students and their brothers, collecting school supplies and trying to help them work through the "bumps" that could de-rail them along the way.  The girls were so encouraged by our stories of  Lord's faithfulness.  I believe that it is faith that moves in our hearts and causes us to spend our Sunday's on North First Street, but it is also something else... and that is Love.

Love happens in the present... in the now.  Paul speaks of "loving deeds".  See, love is what compels us to bar-b-que 500 hot dogs, to sit down and listen to someone pour out their heart, to do the things that sometimes don't make sense to others.  Parents do this all of the time.... they do many crazy, hard, time consuming things for their children... out of love.  God's so cool though because only God could put it in your heart to do crazy time consuming out of the way things for people that you don't really even know.  We don't really know know the people we serve on North First Street.  We know as much as they are willing to share with us, but we don't really know them.  God is the one who puts love in our hearts for people, for humanity, for the hurting, and the lost.  And it is from this place of love that loving deeds pour.  It is those deeds that are done not for ourselves, but others that show God's love.  God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son!!

And finally Paul speaks of hope... enduring hope.  Hope inspires endurance.  It is the hope in what is to come that gives us the endurance to keep on...keeping on......that keeps us reaching out...handing out....showing the world... the love of Christ.  Everyone of us have endless opportunities to show the love of God throughout our lives.  It may be in the line at the grocery store, at the bus stop, at work, or at home... we have  opportunities to speak of the love that God offers.  We believe God's promises and we remain filled with hope for people to grasp the love of God. 

Luke 1:37 says, "For nothing is impossible with God."  Wow! It couldn't be more clear than that...Nothing... not anything is impossible with God which means that ALL THINGS are POSSIBLE with God!  All things.... prostitutes, drug addicts, and alcoholics can find strength and freedom from their addictions with God!  Emotional and Physical abuse can be healed through the love of God!  Poverty can be escaped through faith, hope, and love!

This last week I was watching a movie where a priest told a young woman, "Poverty is not just an absence of food, money and clothes.  It is never feeling what it is to be respected or valued as a person."  One thing I do know is that besides handing out food and clothes, we are able to love and respect the people who come through the line.  God has given us the honor of handing out the Love of Jesus as well as dignity and respect despite what they look like or what they have done. 

It was fun today to celebrate with the people in line when we shared with them that Les had found a job in North Dakota.  We gave God the glory as well as a huge shout of praise.  Last week we honored Julie's death by recognizing her passing with the North First Street friends before we started the food line.  Her friends were given 7 balloons to release up into the air in honor of her passing.  Keith shared that Jesus is available to them 7 days a week.... nothing can separate us from the love of God!  The last 2 weeks we have celebrated as well as mourned as a community...As a community of believers and non-believers.... all of which need the love of God!!

Today as Keith stood at the start of the line, he could take it all in.  He could hear the laughing and joking of the volunteers with the homeless.  He could see the love and smiles exchanged..... It's all Jesus!  It is only Jesus that could bring us all together and only Jesus that could sustain us.  2 Corinthians 4:7  "We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.  This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves."

Praise God from whom all good things come!!! Praise His Glorious Name!!! Only Jesus can transform our hearts....only Jesus can transform our minds... only Jesus can transform our lives.  I pray that we all release our lives daily to Jesus.... to be used as He sees fit for the Glory of our God and Father!  It is through the day by day listening to the Holy Spirit that the transformation is propelled!  Thank You Jesus for allowing me to be a clay pot... complete with cracks and punctures... You meet me where my cracked pot ends and You fill in where my offering comes up short.  Thank You for always being enough!!!  In Jesus Holy Name... Amen :0)

"Whether You Eat or Drink...."

1 Corinthians 10:31  "Whether we eat or drink, or whatever you do....do it all to the Glory of God!"

It is almost 9:00 and I am just sitting down.  I feel hot, sweaty, stinky, and tired.... I feel "fussy" like I want to cry.  I don't know why I always react that way when I am really tired, but I revert to a 3 year old that is long overdue for a nap!  I bet the disciples felt that way at times...I am never tired of serving the Lord.... I am just physically and mentally "tired" but let me back up to the start.

This morning we got a call that we could not go to the Mission to set up our tables and canopies like we usually do because there was a big semi- in the spot that we usually set up.  They thought it would be out of there by 12:30.  We loaded the trailer and rigs with the clothes, tables, canopies, toiletries, water, etc.  that normally go down and we headed down early so that we could set up.  Blessedly we did not have to worry about the food though because it was the weekend that the Mormon church was supplying all of the food.  On the way down to  North First we received another phone call saying that the semi was still there and that we wouldn't be able to set up our tables.  There is no way that God was going to allow that detail to de-rail our efforts.  We told the guy that called Keith that we would just set up in the lot next to the mission like the good old days.  Needless to say... we prayed fervently that the Lord would help work out the details because this was the biggest weekend of the month.....  

By the time we pulled up to the empty dirt lot a long line of people had already formed from the road out to the middle of the lot anticipating the set up of tables and food.  "Whether you eat or drink... do it all to the glory of God!"   No one said that ministry is nice and neat.... no sometimes it is totally relying on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and being flexible enough to re-organize about 25 volunteers, their cars, tables, food, and a massive number of homeless people into an organized event that flows with order and efficiency in a timely manner so that the people who have been waiting out in the hot sun don't pass out from the heat.  There are a lot of fragile people out there whose health is very compromised.  Life of addiction and poverty is very hard on a person's body as well as their spirit. 

But... "Whether you eat or drink... do it all to the glory of God!" The Lord has helped me learn to step under my husband's lead during times like this.  Can I whip out a line of orders and get people moving??? Absolutely... but there needs to be only One Chief...so we promptly took Keith's lead and set up as quickly as possible.  As we were setting up I realized that we were not going to have even close to enough cups and it was way too hot to not have drinks ready to go so I quickly took off to the local Fred Meyer to grab cups and the back pack that I had been promising a man.  (Yes, my disorganization helped increase the intensity of the day a bit).  It was probably good that I left because I had time to just pray... pray for the volunteers, pray for the homeless people, pray for Keith who was re-directing a lot of people in a little amount of time.  I just prayed....

When I look back at the day I can see how we prayed before, during, and after our 90 minutes of organized chaos. Jesus was there walking amongst the least of these....He worked through all of us.  Sure there were complaints from the volunteers about the thousands of goat heads, the heat, and the huge number of people but that is such a small price to pay for the beautiful things that happen during the 90 minutes.  The line of people did not end for about 75-90 minutes.  It was solid....that means that lots of tummy's were filled.  There were jeans and clean shirts distributed as well as lots of love. 

One particular family lives across the street in the Sunshine Motel.  There is a mom, dad, and three children ages 8 to 17.  The kids are set up to go to high school, middle school, and elementary in the fall.  The mom was so thankful that her kids had food in their bellies.  This family has come on Sundays for over a year.  They were usually hard, emotionless, and closed.  Over the past month, they have softened and softened with Keith.  Today he was able to share with them how Jesus has changed his life.  "It's all about Jesus..." Keith explained.  By meeting their physical needs, Keith was able to be in a position of encouragement and ministry.  He told the 17 year old girl that she would finish high school and he asked her about college.  He continued to encourage her that by going to YVCC or any college that she would be able to get out of poverty and have a future.  He went on to tell her that someday she would have kids and would bring them down to North First Street to show them where she came from.... how the Lord met their needs right where they were at.... and how He helped them work their way out.  The mother took off her sunglasses and wiped the tears from her eyes.  She hugged Keith and just as she let go.... the 17 year old girl who was the hardest and most closed of them all... leaned over and gave him a safe side hug.  She had a smile on her face and tears in her eyes... obviously hurt and damaged in the past.... making it huge step after a year.... to flash a small smile and reach out in a small (but huge) demonstration of thanks.

"Whether you eat or drink... do it all to the glory of God!!"  Every week whether a heavy load or a light load... we do it all to the glory of God!!  For some reason being out in the empty dirt lot made things look different.... out in the open you could see the whole line of people standing patiently holding their grocery sack ready for a homemade lunch.  You could see the depravity.... the need....the poverty.... the struggling.  It just seemed to stand out more in the field than it did in the parking lot of the mission.  But you know what??? God showed us once again that He is big enough for all of it.  He can handle the numbers, the needs, the pains, the change of plans, the varied personalities... he can handle it all!  And you know what??? He did.... the last scoop of food went to the last few people.  We had so so much wonderful food, but as the line continued to flow... so the food most rapidly did go!!! (Yes, I do like Dr. Seuss :0)  I do have my own issues lol! )  

Enough food.... enough clothes... enough volunteers, and enough grace that hopefully our volunteers will understand that the goat heads that they are probably still digging out of their shoes... is just a small cost of serving Jesus!!! "Whether you eat or drink.... or pick goat heads... do it all to the glory of the Lord!!!"  But fear not!  It is worth it!!!

Kaecey spoke with one of our older women who comes down to North First.  Kaecey asked how her week has been.  She replied..."It's a living hell."  but because we are "church people" in her eyes she quickly said, "No not hell."  Kaecey was awesome... she told her that it is totally o.k. Sometimes life on earth feels like hell.  Life is not easy.  This particular woman has a couple sons in their early 20's.  She had to kick them out of her apartment because they wanted to pimp her out.  They wanted to prostitute their own mother so that they could buy their drugs.  They were not happy with her and ended up selling a lot of her things.  As a young girl, she was raped by her father.  This woman has definitely experienced a life that is not easy however, she told her Pastor "I put my sons on the Internet."  "You mean on a prayer chain?" he asked.  "Yes!"  She told Kaecey, "I know that it will be o.k. because I have a heavenly father.  Will you pray for me?"  Jesus is big enough for all of it!!! Jesus is big enough for our smallest problems all the way up to the largest problems that we could ever imagine!!

Towards the end of the day, a lady drove up with a pan of food and said, "I'm sorry I'm late!  I didn't get it here on time."  One of our volunteers said, "No you are right on time!"  because that last pan of food fed the last people in line.  We have all been in that same position where we thought "I'm too late..."  What if she wouldn't have brought it?  If the Lord is prompting you to do something... do it!  It won't be too late!!!

My last story is just a reflection on my part... a time to process what I can't quite get my mind around.  The lady that I wrote about last week who passed away.... doesn't have a last name that anyone knows so she is at the morgue listed as a "Jane Doe".  She was in her early 50's and had one very good friend "Larry" who misses her very much.  He said that he misses her so much and finds himself looking for her hoping that it had been just a bad dream.  The problem is... it wasn't.  She had severe mental illness and severe drinking problem.  She had a problem with her esophagus caused by the alcohol and probably drugs that she abused.  Over a three day period of time, she bled internally, and died.  We used to drive by her and wave... she wore a size 8 shoe.  Julie always was very appreciative of the things we gave her.... but she died.  God knows that she wasn't a "Jane Doe" because God knows every person.  He knew us before we were formed in our mother's womb....He knows the end of the story... but He has given us each a choice.  He didn't make Julie drink herself to death....she chose that for whatever reason... but His word says that He does not leave us or forsake us.  He loves us......whether drunk or sober... whether addicted to things we can see or addicted to things we can't see, whether rich or poor, clean or dirty, convicted or free, perfect or far from it... He loves us!!!

As long as I live... I hope that I continue to profess the incredible love of Jesus and I pray that I walk it out also.  There is a song that says,  "Was I Jesus to the least of these?"  I pray that the answer is yes!  We all bleed the same......we are not so different.  I pray tonight for Julie as well as for all of the homeless, the volunteers, and for humanity!  "Whether you eat or drink... do it all to the glory of God!"

A Day of Thanks And Adventure!

Today was a great day of thanks....thanks and joy just seemed to hang in the air today which is amazing because it was in the high 90's and low 100,s.  We were all so hot, but it just seemed that the people on North First were very happy today and thankful.  The people waiting in line were joking and laughing with each other...Keith said, "On a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the happiest.... today was a 9 1/2 with everyone. 

When I first got down there today, one of the regular prostitutes came up to me.  I thought she needed something, but she just wanted to tell me how much she appreciated what we do.  Later I learned that one of the homeless ladies got a card and passed it around to a lot of the regulars there at the mission to thank us for being there.  It was so touching!  The card was a Christmas card which was so great because that was probably all that they could find.  (Christmas in July)   Her words really hit home.  So many people throughout the day thanked us.  The great thing is...Jesus loved everybody so we love not judge...It's about Jesus....Jesus walked amongst the people.... where they lived....and He loved.  He is teaching us to do the same.  This is often quite an adventure! 

Keith spoke with a lady today who told him that she and her family live in the Sunshine Motel 2 weeks out of the month because that's all they have money for.  It costs $200.00 a week to stay there and they can't afford 800.00 a month because then they wouldn't have enough to live on.  $800.00 dollars a month was my house payment at one point in my life.  She would have to pay that much for a one room hotel room for 4 weeks.  Hmmm.... The other 2 weeks she and her family try to spend a few nights with her sister and then find somewhere free where they can park their motor home.

We saw a guy on Sunday who we haven't seen for quite a few months.  I was worried about him and just wondered if he was still alive or doing o.k.?? This guy actually has a lot of hurdles in his life.  He struggles with a severe drug addiction, he is a male prostitute, and most of the time he dresses like a girl and calls himself a girl's name.  Despite this young man's obvious mental health issues and drug problems, he was so thankful and grateful for everything.  He always tells Kaecey  who is 17 years old (volunteer)  and has known this young man from the beginning--- he says, "Don't do drugs. Don't let anyone ever hurt you.. please don't do what I have done."  He tells her this every time he sees her and numerous times in the conversation.  Once you get past the visual shock....or the pre-conceived ideas...you find a caring individual who needs Jesus as much as any of us.  People like him are why we keep going.

Well it sounds like the afternoon was filled with a lot of thankfulness and kind hearts.  I didn't know about the card or all of the thankfulness until the end when we were standing around talking because I found myself in the middle of drama...When we first got down to the lot, we started setting up the food and clothes.  It is usually a little chaotic and rushed because we know that the people have been waiting in the hot sun for a while and we don't want to make them wait longer than necessary.   I noticed a man and his dog sitting back a ways from our tables by himself.  As I was setting up the donut frosting station (lol- now that sounds real normal right? :0)   he yelled over to me that his dog needed food because he was going to die.  I walked over to him to find out what he wanted.  I grabbed a tray for him and got him some food because I didn't want him to get more agitated.  When I brought him his food, he was agitated and a bit hostile.  Possibly against better judgement, I engaged in a conversation with him.  The more we talked the more he settled down.  Eventually I sat down on the cement and listened to his story.  He told me how he had had a very bad week- someone in the family had passed away so he was on a drunken binge for the week.  He also told me that he was a bi-polar artist that didn't want to take his medication because he didn't like how he felt on it.  He didn't want to try other medications because it was too long of a process so instead he just drinks.  He also admitted that he was in a manic state at the moment. 

I know, I know... how many signs do I need to get the heck out of there.... but we were having a great conversation about Jesus and how Jesus reached out to people in love.  He didn't like church but he professed his love for Jesus.  He calmed down considerably and shared a lot about his life.  He even offered to give his backpack to a man who came up to us and asked if I could find him one for next week.  He had a bag and a backpack and was going to give up his backpack, but the man declined.  (A giving heart hidden under dysfunction.)  The conversation was going along just fine until someone asked him if he could not sit in that location next time because the mission wanted everyone to be on the other side of the parking lot. Well needless to say, the man I was talking to "snapped" "crackled" and "popped!"  Yep... he kind of lost it. He felt called out and embarrassed in front of the other homeless people so he had to stand up to the guy in his eyes so that he wouldn't lose respect.  A big argument continued on and within minutes two police cars showed up.  Wow....I didn't see that one coming.  I really didn't want to see the guy thrown in jail though because I know he was in such an agitated state and needed to go calm down.  The guy who asked him to not sit there did not do anything wrong.... he was just doing his job, but once the other guy snapped,  he reverted back to a "street mentality".  He was cussing and screaming back at the man.... After it was all said and done... the manic depressive man headed home with his dog.  He gave me a hug and thanked me for talking to him, then off he went.  The man who worked at the mission thought I would throw him under the bus and lie to the police about starting a fight.  The funny thing was... he didn't know that I was Keith's wife.. he thought I was some homeless person who would lie to the cops and get him in trouble.  After we cleared up who I was... I told him that I would never throw him under the bus.  I think that his default reaction was to not trust anyone because that is what he has experienced.  It was nice  that he could see that we walk the talk and don't just speak the words of Jesus but act with respect for truth also.  It is never a dull moment....but every conversation and every individual is always worth the time.  I know that conversation about Jesus is never for not...it is always worth the effort.

In the past, we have ministered to a lady who was probably in her early 40's or late 30's.  We have given her clothes and shoes numerous times throughout the last year.  She was very mentally ill and addicted.  Over the last 6 months, she has stayed mostly on the outskirts of the lot... pushing a grocery cart and always wearing layers and layers of clothes.  A friend of hers had to call the paramedics and by the time she got to the hospital... she had died.  This makes me so sad.  A couple weeks ago I was taking our oldest son back to Seattle when I passed her as I was getting on the on ramp.  The lady was standing out in the grass next to her grocery cart with the sprinklers on.  I think that she had been sleeping out in the grass and was woken up by the sprinklers.  I felt so sad for her thinking what a horrible way to live.  I pray that she is with God and that she as peace.  I don't know where she was at with the Lord but I know that she always listened....and that she was seriously mentally ill.  I believe that because the Lord is pure love...that he must have a special way of dealing with mentally ill people.  God is a fair and just God.  God has given each of us a choice as to whether we want to call Him Our God or not..... He never forces us... but gives us the choice.  This woman was extremely mentally ill and not in a normal state of mind....When I get to heaven I want to ask God about this... What I do know is that God is always fair, just, and loving!! Thank You Jesus!!!

I loved the thankful stories and I grieve the sad ones.  My heart continues to break for the broken...each individual is responsible for change in their own life, but my heart breaks for the broken person underneath all of the dysfunction.  I want to be more like Jesus.... I want to walk amongst the people and give them words of hope and encouragement found in Jesus Christ.  Thank You Jesus for the opportunity to serve!!! I love You with all of my heart!  In Jesus Holy Name.... Amen! :0)

Life Giving Water!!!

Most people who have grown up in the church setting are familiar with the story about Jesus and the woman at the well….In John 4 …. The story tells how one day while Jesus was ministering…he grew tired and sat down next to a well while his disciples went off to find food.  While Jesus was resting a Samaritan lady came up and Jesus asked her to give him a drink. The Samaritan woman was shocked that Jesus would even speak to her since she was a Gentile…..and it is here that Jesus offered her the water that gives “everlasting life”.  Upon hearing about the water that gives everlasting life… the woman replied, “Sir give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”  Jesus further revealed himself to her…. The woman left the jar of water and ran back to the town to tell the people about “The man who knew everything about everything I ever did.”

 

Now I share this scripture because of the way the lady responded… upon hearing about Jesus and everlasting life she basically said, “I want some of that!!!! Can I have some?”  Today a young man named Logan approached Keith towards the end of our time on North First Street.  He asked, “Can I get some food?”  The young man was 21 years old and was holding a sign that said, “Seattle” on it.  He had been standing down at the Arco station and was hoping that he would find someone to give him a ride to Ellensburg or to his true destination which was Seattle.  Keith told him to help himself and grab a couple plates of food then Keith asked him if he would like a bike.  Logan said, “No man, you don’t have to do that…really.”  Keith told him he wasn’t kidding and he could have a bike if he would like.  (The person we thought the bike was for didn’t show up…I guess God really had it picked out for Logan.)  “Why are you doing this?” Logan asked.  Keith explained that he was just doing what Jesus would do.  He went onto explain to Logan about Jesus and how He died for all sins and how He gave His very life…. A bike doesn’t even compare to a life!  Keith continued, “You have tried everything else in your life and it didn’t work… how about trying Jesus?”  “Am I too late?” Logan asked…….. Am I too late…….WOW~  It about broke our hearts to hear this…. “Am I too late?”  “No, “ replied Keith….Logan said, “I want Jesus!”

 

Keith explained to Logan how his life will never be the same…just like the woman at the well.  He shared that wherever Logan goes, Jesus will be with him and that it isn’t about “church”….. it is about Jesus.  “Wherever you go Logan, Jesus will be with you.  People will help you from here to Seattle and you will wonder why…. It is Jesus!”  “I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me… “ Logan said.  He said, “I don’t feel worthy.”  They talked further and then Logan said, “The love that you have given me is more than my dad or family has ever given me.”  “That is Jesus!” Keith replied.  Keith called all of the remaining people over… about 15 in all- volunteers as well as homeless who were standing by witnessing it all.  We laid hands on Logan and prayed over him….. Just as the woman at the well who would never thirst again…. Logan will never thirst again…. He has Jesus!!!  When you encounter Jesus…. You will never be the same.  

 

Keith gave Logan his business card and told him to call him whenever he needed. 
“You mean you want me to call you if I get in trouble?” Logan asked….”yes”….”You want me to call you when I get safely to Seattle?”…. “Yes, Just call me.”….”Like you mean I can call you any time?”  “Yes… call me any time,”  Keith replied with a big smile and hug.   I don’t know if we will ever hear from Logan again or see him, but it was amazing watching this young man being filled with hope and love to a degree that he had never experienced before.  Once you encounter Jesus…. You are never the same…..just ask the lady at the well!   :0)

 

The last year and a half has taught me to hear the Lord so much better than I ever had in the past.  I  know that God has always been speaking to me… as He does with all of us….but I don’t think my brain was set on the right frequency to hear Him.  Last Sunday a lady came up to me at the very end when we were packing up the trailer.  She asked for help and wanted to go to the YWCA for battered women.  I listened to her story for about 20 minutes but couldn’t get a clear picture because she was a little bit “all over the place”.  She seemed to have some mental illness, but there were also so major parts of her story that made me worried for her.  I told her that we would wait for her while she grabbed her things inside the mission and we would take her to the YWCA.  Well….. we waited….and waited….and waited and she did not come back so we thought she could have been “a little off” and maybe forgot about us or got distracted, so we left.  The next night when Keith got home from work we both agreed that we should bring the street people some water because it was such a hot day.  Now we had never gone out during the week before…. But we both felt the prompting to go this night.  We loaded up the coolers filled with water bottles and headed down to North First.  A few of our regulars were lingering here and there and were very appreciative of the cool water bottles and apples.  We headed down a side street on our way towards the river when we looked over and saw the lady from the day before!!

 

There she was…. Standing on the grass with one of her friends.  I jumped out of the car and she ran over to me.  “Do you still want to go to the Y?” I asked.  She definitely did.  I was so thankful for a 2^nd chance with her.  I hadn’t been able to get her out of my mind from the day before and I was so excited that the Lord gave us another chance to bless her.  She grabbed her sleeping bag and garbage sacks filled with her belongings, said good=bye to her friend, and loaded up.  “I will be safe tonight!” she shouted back to her friend with a big smile.  Keith drove through the drive-thru of a hamburger place and got her a hot meal to fill her up.  She cried in between bites….”Why are you doing this???”  “Because that is what Jesus did for us….   He came for all of us!!”  We had an awesome talk about the Lord and about her life.  When we got to the YWCA I ran up to the door and rang the bell.  The lady who answered shared that they could only take women who were being abused by their “intimate partner”.  Being a “newbie” at these things, I ran back to the car to get more details from my new friend about her situation.  “Are you running from your husband or boyfriend?”  She started to share her story….her husband would beat her up if she did not perform “what he requested”….worse yet… he would pass her around to his friends and they would beat her if she would not perform “what they requested”.  Yes… I think that she qualified for temporary shelter at the Y.  “You are precious…. God made you and you are precious to Him!” I said as we hurried inside with her few bags.  Soon after we hugged and said our good-byes.  “I love you!” she whispered as we squeezed each other one last time.  “You are going to be o.k. sweetie!  God has got you covered!  And I love you too!”  I ran out of the building and jumped in the car with Keith knowing that all three of us had experienced Jesus in a very big way.

 

Today was a little different for me than most of our North First St days.  Close to the beginning of the day before we had gotten started, one of the men who shares a tent with one of the women I have befriended asked if he could talk to me in private.  Most of my afternoon was sitting on the pavement up against the concrete building talking to Tom.  We have known Tom for over a year and a half.  He lives down by the river and has a very sweet personality….as well as an alcohol and meth addiction.  Of all the things that Tom discussed, the one thing that stood out so much is when he said, “I just needed to talk to you guys (Keith and I) because I know that I can trust you.  I can’t talk to these guys out here about my personal life.”  It hit home because most of the people we serve are dealing with addictions and/or mental illness….there are not a lot of people to befriend to discuss serious/personal topics.  We really aren’t just handing out food and clothes….so much more happens each week.  It is the relationships…..the encouragement… the hope…..the Jesus that nobody can see, but everybody can feel.  HE is the SOMETHING DIFFERENT that both the volunteers and the North First Street friends feel.

 

I feel so blessed that each week we have people come down to volunteer…. People who I have never met before, but who have heard about North First Street.  Whether our volunteers are brand new or our awesome regulars…. We Praise God that there is always enough… always enough food, volunteers, clothes, love, hope, and ALWAYS ALWAYS enough JESUS!!!! Thank You Lord!!! I love You forever!!! :0)

 

Bumps and Mountains....

My heart cries so deeply for bumps and mountains....bumps and mountains...you see what are small bumps for some are huge mountains for others.  My heart breaks for some of the mountains that I have heard on North First Street... Let  me explain....

For me to go on a 3 month long excursion to Australia is a mountain!  For one.. I can't afford the flight....I couldn't afford the money that it would take to stay that long, nor the food that I would have to buy, nor the clothes that I would need, nor the money for fun excursions, not to mention a month away from my home, my family, and my responsibilities here, but for others.... that would be just a little bump... it would just require a few phone calls, reservations, shifting of schedules, and it would be no big problem at all...

This is the way it is with so many people in poverty.  The things that are mountains for them to get over, are often just small bumps for us.  I met a man last week who served the U.S. Military in a manor that required him to see way more than any one should.  He explained to me that it is much better for him to live away from other people because he doesn't trust himself...he is afraid that he might hurt someone so he lives on the fringes... on the fringes of society.  As he explained to Keith.. "I live down the path... over by the fence.... where you see the pile of blankets.  :0(   This is a place where he can get to town for what he needs without his past memories clashing with the people who are in his present.  But this is not the mountain for him... No the mountain for him is getting over to the medical supply store to explain how his colostomy supplies were stolen as well as all of his other possessions.  My friend showed me his colostomy bag under his shirt as he sat on the curb next to his cane.  Getting around is hard.... getting to the medical supply store with his bad leg is hard.... explaining that his much needed medical supplies were stolen and even though they are only issued once a month... what are his choices??? He has to ask... it isn't like a baggy would do....For me to get from one side of town to the other is not a mountain... it is a bump....it is a problem that is easily solved... no big deal.  But for others...given his circumstances...it is a mountain.

Another friend down on North First is working full time and taking classes at YVCC while living at the Mission.  His mountain happens to come in the form of fractions.  See for whatever reason whether it be his parents moving around when he was growing up, or he was learning English as a 2nd language through the years that he was exposed.. therefore making "gaps" in his learning... fractions are a mountain.  He is a smart man with a will to learn, but he just needs the "gaps" filled in like.... how to make mixed numbers into irregular fractions, how to divide using decimals, or how to multiply fractions.  To some this is only a little bump... but to someone without resources.... people to ask....someone to be available to ask those simple questions and fill in the "gaps", it can appear to be a mountain!  He was so grateful for the short time that I spent answering questions and was so grateful that he can bring his workbook next week.... maybe the mountain will become more like a bump.  (And yes... there are numerous resources at YVCC to help people with tutoring and help... but that is Middle Class thinking... We know that because we have friends or relatives who have attended college and understand "the system", it is second nature to us.  But for people who do not even know anyone personally who has gone to college... or has ever grown up learning how to access those types of resources... it is a confusing and intimidating place.)

One of my friends that lives by the river knows that she needs to be on the "correct medication."  She understands that she has mental illness issues and that she is currently using illegal drugs to help self-medicate.  Her mountain is "how to jump back into society....the steps needed to get back on her feet and get the proper help that she needs."  For some people a simple dr. appointment is only a small bump... but for others... it is a massive mountain!  ( And a scary one at that!)  She set up an appointment for a psych. eval. and I took the day off of work to go to her appointment with her.  I met her at the designation.... only to find out that it was actually scheduled two days later.  But in order for her to let me know that.... she had to ride a half broken bike part way across town  which she did.  It was not all a loss because we had a great "God Appointment" talking for 3 hours which was awesome.  I couldn't go with her two days later which again for some would have not been a big problem, but for her.... it was a mountain!  There was so much anxiety and fear for her that she skipped the appointment and felt even more like a loser.  A dr. appointment for one person.... may be a step into a life changing appointment for another... which is a very scary step.  I will go with her to her next appointment but the dr. only comes here once a month for these types of evaluations... so for now she needs to hold tight.  My bump.... is her mountain.  Sometimes we have opportunities to help someone make their mountain a little bit smaller.

One of our long time regulars was held up last night with knife at his throat....now this guy has been living out by the river for quite some time and there isn't much that looks like it would bother him too much.  He is the kind of guy who seems to be quite at home living off of the land- mostly fishing....dealing with the inconveniences of "permanent roughing it in the wild".  He is the first to tell you that he was a special needs student in school.  But today.... he was really shaken up.  They took what little he had so today things like.... a pair of socks, a pair of pants, a little extra food, a fishing pole.... were mountains to him.  Possible small bumps to others.... but for him today... they were mountains.  I was so glad that we were there today to help make his mountains a little smaller.

A lady that lives close by comes to get some food and clothes for her kids.  Getting from morning til night during the summer months is a bump for many families (How am I going to keep my kids occupied all summer?  There are so many more dishes to wash... clothes to change... everyone is hungry all the time.)  But for this lady, each day is a mountain.  She takes care of her 3 kids, her friend's 3 kids (because her friend is working), some of the neighbor kids who come over because they run out of food.... and she wonders how she is going to feed them, keep the lights on... stretch what little she has.  Her husband works at Burger King and she does the best she can to try and help the people around her.  She is doing the best she can with what she has....I have never seen her drunk or drugged up... just poor...tired... and always mountain climbing.  Her son was munching on an apple from lunch and he asked if he could have more apples-  You would not believe how happy he was when I gave him a whole box of apples.  That little 7 year old looked like I had given him the moon!!! What was just a little bit of a bump (going out of my way to re-box them and haul them to their car) was helping to over come a mountain to him.   I am praying for groceries to take her.... she is working so hard- doing the right things.

There are people with needs of bikes- to get to their jobs..... needs of people for boots or gloves to protect their hands and feet while they work.... needs of some food to get them through the last 6 days of the month until pay day.... the need for a Savior.... to tear down all of the mountains in their lives!!! Every Sunday gives us the incredible opportunity to show the love of the Master Mountain Remover!!! When we share the love of Jesus over time... with no other motive except to love on them.....we are not asking anything of them.... the mountains that surround their hearts start to melt and turn into smaller and smaller bumps.... so that through time... the desire of their hearts which is to be loved and accepted is revealed.   God is melting mountains every week..... and every day each of us have opportunities that arise where we can be Jesus with skin on and help make some one's mountain a little smaller.  All anybody really wants is to be loved and accepted...I believe that  that is at the heart of every person in the world.... rich or poor.... addicted or not....Jesus, I give you all of my mountains as well as my bumps and I thank you for helping me continue to push through!!! I love you and am honored to serve You with my life.  In Jesus Holy Name... Amen!! :0)